


Half-Baked

by RonniRotten



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Innuendo, M/M, Swearing, Trans Male Character, bipolar character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 34,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Roderich Edelstein is a sassy Home Ecc teacher with a history of unlasting relationships. Will his luck change with the new school year, when a new teacher takes over the classroom next door?





	1. Intro

Teaching might not have been his strong point when it came to his passions, fortunately for Roderich Edelstein he got a job as a Home Ecc. teacher instead of the band instructor. The sassy brunett enjoyed spending his week baking with students and trying some of their...less than palette pleasing creations. He was patient enough to help these poor teens with the ovens, as long as he didn't have to clean them.

  
That was a problem when Roderich chose to bake during his first free period–everyday. He made his entire hallway smell like a bakery. His specialty was cupcakes–they were amazing tools for bribery, and for his non-existent lover. It was during one such free period that his world turned upside down.

Roderich hummed a Schubert Lied as he carefully scooped the batter into the individual tins lined with pink papers. The oven was ready to go and he intended to start this new school year by annoying a little thief–the chemistry teacher, Gilbert Beilschmidt, who always tried to steal a few cupcakes. He put the trays in the oven, set the timer, and sighed as he glanced around the room.  
There were four long white counters with a four-burner stove in the middle sitting in the center of the room, a few refrigerators on the left wall, from where he stood, and a large pantry and a counter full of mixers and supplies on the right. In the back was a lone counter for the instructor, and a few black ovens, one stacked on top of the other. And in the front by the fridges, was a door. 

Roderich noticed that the door was slightly open and moving. No doubt it was Gilbert again.

"Stop pretending you're not there, I'm not blind or stupid!" he scoffed. He was in for a surprise! Instead of his usual uninvited guest, the person in the doorway was a new teacher. He had curious green eyes and messy brown curls. He seemed lost, but he grinned once he laid eyes on Roderich.

"Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, it just smelled so good!" he chuckled, "I'm Antonio Fernández Carriedo, your new neighbor!"

"Roderich Edelstein." Roderich replied curtly, "You're the new Italian teacher? Funny, you don't sound Italian."

"No, no! I'm not Italian, I just have a degree in Italian Language and Literature! It would be too easy if I chose to study my own language!"

"Your own language?" the baker scoffed incredulously. He figured that Mr. Fernández was from Spain–he had an ear for accents. 

"Yeah! My native language, Roderich, what else? Wanna guess what it is?" he laughed, rolling the first 'r' in Roderich's name, and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Bavarian." Roderich rolled his eyes. He was not in the mood for conversation. Antonio didn't seem to get it.

"No! I'm from Spain, I grew up speaking Spanish!" he grinned like a small child. Roddy wondered if the man actually did find the time to grow up.

"Goodness, I would have never guessed!" Roderich laid on the sarcasm thickly and glared at his guest. He was losing his limited patience. 

"I guess it's a good thing I told you! You might've forgotten that what you're baking is in the oven!" the Spaniard gasped innocently. Roderich wanted to tear his own hair out. How clueless was this guy?

"Hau di über die Häuser!" he snapped, forgetting out of his irateness that he was not in Austria anymore and he was completely unintelligible in that classroom. He cleared his throat and tried again, a bit more politely, in English,

"It was nice meeting you but I have to ask you to leave. I have work to do."

"Oh! Alright! It was nice meeting you too!" Antonio flashed a winning smile and left, shutting the door. The Austrian sighed and went to gather the ingredients for the frosting. All the while he thought of this new teacher, and what might come from having him next door. Nothing good.


	2. Unnecessary Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Loose translations are next to the phrases in ()_

"Hat jemand dir gesagt, dass du schlampig bist?" (Has anyone told you that you're dirty?) Gilbert Beilschmidt grunted as he scrubbed the stove top nearest the ovens.  Roderich looked up from where he sat reading the numerous pre-assessment papers he collected over the course of the day–he couldn't plan his lessons if he didn't know his students' capabilities. He smirked and chuckled at his friend, and replied,

"Natürlich! In beiden Bedeutungen!" (Naturally! In both ways!)

"Liza hat mir das gesagt. Sie meint dass der Verkehr war pervers. Sie hat auch gesagt dass sie oft dich von hinten genommen hatte." (Liza told me that. She thought the sex was kinky. She told me she took you from behind a lot.) Gil jeered, hoping to elicit a response from his friend. It did. 

"Fresse! Wir sind in einer Schule, Piefke!" (Shut it! We're in a school) Roderich snapped, red faced. He was not happy to be reminded of his intimate times with his ex-wife. Erszabeta Hédérváry was also a teacher at the school–gym and health were her departments. They divorced on good terms; Roderich liked men and only realized he didn't feel any romantic attraction toward women later. Liza was understanding and remained his closest friend.

"Ich hab dich auch lieb, Roddy!" (I love you too) Gilbert chuckled. He stretched after he finished scrubbing the last stove so that it sparkled, and lazily moseyed over to Roderich.

"So. Have you met my old friend from college yet?" He smirked, typical Gilbert, "The one I mentioned before? He started working here this year, he's single, and he's your type!" he switched languages lest someone thought they were fighting. It happened before. A few times. 

"Gilbert, I doubt anyone associated with you is my type. And you don't know what I like." Roderich huffed. Gilbert laughed and shook his head, delving back into his native tongue,

"Ich kenne dich, Rodchen! Du bist Roderich Edelstein, ein schwuler Lehrer, der pervers Geschlechtsverkehr, klassische Musik, und backen liebt. Du hast fast dreimal geheiratet. Du putzt nicht und tust mir mit den Worten weh." (I know you Roddy. You're Roderich Edelstein a gay teacher who loves kinky sex, classical music, and baking. You married nearly three times. You don't clean and you hurt me with your words.)

"Halt die Schnauze, Arschloch!" (Shut up, asshole!) Roderich snarled. He had a selective memory, and he was trying to forget his two divorces and lone broken engagement. Gilbert was the victim of the latter. Liza was great, so was Heidi, but again, there were complications. And poor stupid Gilbert, he couldn't live under the same roof with him for long. Something about cleaning up and being useful at home. In the end, it came down to Roderich being a romantic with his head in the clouds.

And then there was a knock on the door. It startled the pair. Who would still be here this late? Gilbert went to open it and beamed,

"Tony!" he cheered and pulled his friend inside. Antonio was confused and concerned. He head yelling. What was going on here?

"Roddy!" Gilbert dragged Antonio toward the impatient and surprised little man. Roderich took a quick scan of the Italian teacher, since he was too busy before. He was well built, probably a fan of the gym. His hair was wispy and bouncy. His eyes were green and dazzling, he had to keep himself from staring. The man was actually really cute.

"Roddy, this is my broha Antonio, Tony this is my favorite victim, Roderich."

"Victim?" Antonio gulped. 

"I am a victim of his stupidity." Rod scoffed from his perch, "And believe me I suffer."

"Rude!" Gilbert pouted, then tried to change the subject, "Antonio teaches—"

"Italian. Gilbert I met him this morning." Roderich sighed, "Your payment is in the fridge."

"Payment?" Antonio asked, tilting his head. Damn that was adorable! Rod face-palmed to hide a blush he felt forming.

"I clean for him and I get cupcakes." Gilbert smirked, "and they're damn good cupcakes!" If it were anyone else on the planet saying that, Roderich might have been flattered. Too bad it was just Gilbert standing by the fridge about to claim his reward. 

"Really?" Antonio grinned, "Are they the cupcakes you were making earlier? They smelled amazing!" At that Roderich felt his stomach flip. Oh no...he was not falling for this new teacher! No this imbecile was just—okay so he was really cute! It didn't matter! Roderich Edelstein was not going to be saddled with unnecessary feelings again!

"Thank you Antonio." Roderich put on an air of dignity as he spoke, sticking his nose in the air like an aristocat (meow). Antonio smiled–was that a small blush on his cheeks? Of cour— 

"Roderich Edelstein you—you—du Schweinhund!" (You mother fucker!) Gilbert screeched holding a plate with his payment of the eight cupcakes on the plate, four had little faces drawn on them.

"Bitte, der andere Teller!" (Please! The other plate!) Roderich groaned. Gilbert double checked while Antonio looked between the pair. Was he missing something?

"The man cannot eat foods with faces." Roderich huffed, answering Antonio's unspoken question, "Something about feeling guilty.  It's an odd psychological thing I haven't the time for."

"Says the man who's so tight fisted he wouldn't spend an extra fifty cents for ranch with his pizza!" Gilbert laughed, bringing a plate of eight cupcakes, decorated with pink frosting and crystalline sprinkles. Antonio was starting to drool.

"Since your work here is done, Gilbert, why don't you run back to your lab and put out that fire." Roderich smirked. 

"Please! I keep my workplace in order! Fires only happen  _during_  class! But I know when I'm not wanted!" Gil jeered, "Let's get outta here Tony–the princess is about to turn into a wicked witch!"

"Farewell you old troll! And adiós Antonio!" Roderich held his smirk, though he felt his heart doing cartwheels. Antonio beamed and waved, letting Gilbert drag him out of the room.

When he was sure they were gone, Roderich hopped down from the counter and slapped himself across the face. This was not happening, he was not getting a crush on the new teacher! Nope! But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, that is exactly what happened.


	3. Dudes' Night Out

 "Oh hoh hoh! Look at what the cat dragged in!" A blonde man with long hair, stubble, and blue eyes grinned. He was seated at a booth in the local bar, sipping on a glass of wine as Gilbert and Antonio approached.

"I know, right!?" Gilbert grinned, "Antonio looks like shit!"

"Hey!" Antonio pouted and gently shoved his friend.

"I was referring to you, Gil. It's Friday night and Liza isn't with you!"

"She's her own person–she's with her friends! Besides, I have a sexy Spaniard ready for karaoke night! Who needs fiancées all the time? Not us!"

"As far as I know, the only person who needs their lover so frequently is Roderich." Francis chuckled as his friends sat down–Antonio sandwiching him against the wall and Gilbert across from him. 

"Hey man, you weren't engaged to him, you don't get to talk." Gil huffed, "Liza and I hold the monopoly on those jokes."

"Huh? You mean that little guy with the glasses is your ex-fiancé and your fiancée's ex-fiancé?" Antonio gawked. Francis rolled his eyes–that Roderich got around and always looked flawless. He was an annoyance sometimes.

"No, no, she was actually married to him. And yeah, we're all still friends–go fig!" Gil laughed. 

"That man is strange. Hopefully he will find the one and stop making a mess of my friends." Francis grunted. He tired of this conversation.

"Antonio," Gilbert smirked, "Why did you get a job here? I'm sure that there are other schools with better pay who would hire you."

"Not really. I mean I want to be here. You need an Italian teacher and a backup Spanish teacher and I can do both. And I get to work with my besties!" Antonio beamed, "Plus, I'm doing an old friend a favor!"

"A favor? Are you telling me that I supported hiring you to help you fulfill your favor? To whom?" Francis gawked.

"Romulus Vargas! He was my first Italian teacher. He has two grandkids in the school. Soon to be three. I'm just keeping an eye on them for him."

"Oh yes! The Vargas children! Alicia is a gem, like her mother! But that Lovino! He is a piece of work! I wish you the best of luck!"

"And remember–dating the students is a big no-no!" Gilbert smiled teasingly. Antonio frowned at him,

"I might be a desperate single, but I would never even think about that! Pedophilia is not a joke Gilbert."

"Fine, fine, I won't make that kind of joke again!" Gilbert shrugged, "I'm sorry Tony..."

"Oh you will be amigo!" Antonio wore a dark expression. It scared his friends to no end. Francis was praying for forgiveness for all his sins. And then suddenly the sunshine came back. 

"I'm so kicking your ass during karaoke!" He cheered and jumped up. Gilbert smirked at him. He was something else!

"Sit down a little while!" Francis gushed, "I haven't seen you in ages! I want to know how our little lady-killer is doing!"

"I don't know what you mean." Antonio sat next to him and pouted. Gilbert snorted,

"He doesn't mean you actually kill women, it's an expression!"

"I know that!" Antonio glared at him, "I'm not that stupid. I just don't really go for the ladies."

"So you want a man? I can't offer you my services, sorry!" Gilbert cooed and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Antonio snorted and laughed,

"Ew. You're not my type!" 

"Good. He's mine." A woman with flowing brown hair approached the table with two timid men close behind her–one was blonde and the other was brunette. She smirked at the trio and playfully nudged Gilbert.

"You know, it's funny how we always run into each other!"

"Lizzy, Liza, Liz!" Gilbert laughed, "We think so much alike, is it any shock?"

"Liza, how nice to see you!" Francis smiled, "And you as well Tolys, Feliks!" The timid blonde's personality did a 180 and he grinned. 

"Francis, you look totally amazing!" Feliks flipped his long hair over his shoulder.

"Have you met Antonio? He's our new Italian teacher!" Francis gestured to man next to him.

"¡Hola!" Antonio waved.

"Like, um, that's not Italian." Feliks pouted. Tolys stepped in awkwardly and smiled meekly,

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Tolys and this is my boyfriend Feliks."

"Hey! Wait a second!" Gilbert gasped, "You said you were hanging with the princess! Where is he?" Liza rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Rod's on his way. He's not the fastest, you know. But he expects us to be at our usual table, so I'll see you later."

"Save a song for me!" Gil chuckled and kissed her hand, "And make sure it's a duet."

"Will do." she giggled, "It was nice to run into you guys. Szia Francis, Antonio." she grinned and led her friends to the other side of the bar. Francis waited for the group to get out of the line of hearing before turning on Gilbert.

"You are so smitten! Kissing her hand like that? You have it bad!" Francis cooed.

"We're getting married. Let me love my future wife!" Gil chuckled, "at least the woman I love loves me back!"

"Alistair adores me. He just won't admit it." Francis huffed. 

"Give it time!" Gilbert rolled his eyes. The Scot was definitely in love with Francis but there's always complications when you love your brother's ex–even if it was years ago and Arthur was happy with Kiku.

"So Toño," Francis hummed, "you haven't been here long but I wonder, has anyone caught your eye yet?" Antonio looked like a tomato. Bullseye. 

"Well I mean I think the Home Ecc teacher is really cute..."

"Oh!" Gilbert smirked. He called it–Antonio would like Roderich. All he needed was for Roderich to like Antonio. Gilbert rarely meddled with other people's relationships, but when he did, he was always right. Good god he was pumped!

"You don't seem to have a problem with him liking your ex." Francis said to Gilbert. The Prussian shrugged. He didn't follow bro code. 

"Let's get some food and then we can torment Antonio, okay?" Gilbert grinned darkly. He was so getting them together!


	4. The Princess and Company

 Roderich arrived at the bar an hour later. He avoided the three men in their booth–two of whom lived to tease him, all in good fun but he was not up for that. He quickly found his friends and sat down quietly on the outermost seat next to Liza, adjusting his necktie.

"Grüß Gott." he mumbled. Liza smiled at him,

"Szia Roderich! You made it!"

"I said I would be here."

"But, like, you cancel all the time." Feliks hummed, "It's good to see you out and killing it!"

"We missed your commentary, you really bring the table to life." Tolys added calmly. Liza chuckled and shook her head,

"And Roddy, I am dying to know what you think of this new teacher. He's right next door to the Home Ecc room. Should I worry about Gil?"

"Hardly!" Roderich scoffed, "Gilbert is the bad influence–and Antonio is oblivious." his voice hitched when he said the name. Liza knew all too well what that meant.

"I think she's more worried that he'll, like, steal her man." Feliks smirked. 

"I wouldn't worry. Gilbert is loyal–even a cute Spaniard with puppy dog eyes wouldn't change that!" Rod chuckled, "Sorry Liz, you're stuck with that ego maniac!"

"And his little sister. Monika is in my homeroom and gym class."

"Monika is his little sister?" Tolys gasped, "That tall ripped student in my algebra class is related to Mr Awesome?" 

"She's a good student–a little scary for a freshman, but I think she'll do well." Feliks mused, "I am her guidance counselor after all."

"She has study hall with me." Roderich mused, "She has three interests in that room–baking, work, and Alicia."

"Details!" Feliks grinned.

"She and Alicia are inseparable. That Italian girl gets her all flustered! I shouldn't judge, but I think little Moni has a little crush!" Rod smirked.

"This calls for a round!" Liza cheered, "Can't gossip without something to drink."

"Four dark pints?" Tolys asked as he stood up, volunteering. Liza nodded and thanked him. Roderich eyed Feliks and said,

"You're quite lucky to have found your perfect match–and such a gentleman no less!"

"Y-Yeah, Tolys he's, uh, yeah, he's really great..." Feliks blushed and stared shyly at his lap.

"He's lucky to have you too, naturally." Rod added nonchalantly. Liza facepalmed–her Polish pal was so shy without her and his boyfriend around. 

"They've been so helpful with wedding planning too. Feliks is an amazing planner–I'm sure you'll want his help a few more times." She flashed Rod a sideways glance and returned her attention to Feliks. Roderich frowned at her. He opened his mouth to speak but then the lights dimmed and a spotlight hit the stage behind him and Liza. 

"Alright, Alright!" A man shouted into the mic, "It's time for karaoke! Who's gonna start us off?—yes! You! Come on up stranger!" Roderich groaned internally and was grateful when Tolys slid a mug of beer under his nose.

"What's your name, man?" the announcer asked and handed off the mic.

"You know me broha! Gil!" The stranger grinned. Roderich felt his stomach drop. No. He couldn't be–no that tone deaf asshole was not about to ruin everyone's evening with his scratchy voice. 

And then the music started. Roderich turned around. That was a mistake. Gilbert was with Francis, and it was Francis about to sing Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" instead. Gilbert was going to make his own backing vocals—typical. And so much worse.

"If I should stay, I'll only be in your way" Francis sang. Gilbert smirked and shouted for all to hear,

"Then fucking move!"

"So I'll go, but I know I'll, Think of you every step of the way"

"You stepped on my foot!"

"And I!"

"Holy shit!"

"Will always love you!"

"I can't believe you did this to me!" Gilbert wailed. Roderich couldn't handle watching them anymore and turned to his beer. Maybe a waiter would come around–he was gonna need something stronger to survive the night.

* * *

Over at the bft's booth, Antonio laughed at his friends and ate a few fries from Francis' plate. He debated on going up there later to sing but he was a little self conscious. Roderich was there and he didn't want to make a fool of himself! The man was so classy and sassy that he would hold it against poor Toño forever! And they'd see each other every day! Then again...it would be so much fun to let loose. Embarrassment or fun? Hmm. Tough choice.

  
Fuck it!  


As soon as Gilbert and Francis were finished, he ran up to the stage and took over. He selected a song from the machine and smirked. "Hips Don't Lie" was his jam. With the opening trumpet, Gilbert and Francis got off stage and remained close by for...moral support... He steeled his nerves as the intro played and took a deep breath...

"I didn't know that she could dance like this! She makes a man want to speak Spanish! ¿Cómo se llama? ¡Bonita! ¡Mi casa, su casa!" Antonio sang, starting to gyrate his hips to the beat. His voice was angelic as he continued his song:

"Oh baby when you talk like that You make a woman go mad! So be wise! And keep on! Reading the signs of my body!" He let the music consume him, moving suggestively in time. Francis whistled at him before the chorus. Gilbert fished through his pockets and pulled out a stack of index cards–116 green index cards with the elements of the periodic table on them. He let out a cheer, and caught the bar's attention–which was quickly redirected to Antonio.

Roderich was one of the few who turn around a few seconds later. What he saw when he did made him want something stronger than beer. The new Italian teacher was shaking it with no remorse! And damn did he look good! What was worse was Gilbert–the one who caught his attention. The chemistry teacher was throwing index cards at Antonio as if they were bills. Roderich felt his heart leap into his throat and heat rush to his face. He quickly turned away and spotted a waiter. He called the server over and ordered a bottle of Schnapps–he needed something stronger than beer if he were to get so drunk that he thought he lost his dick, which hadn't happened in a long time. He was sure to make that happen.


	5. Alles Klar, Herr Kommissar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _it miiiight be too early for a drunk Roddy...nah. It's time for Falco! FYI to get a feel for Rod's 'sick moves' watch the[video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-bgiiTxhzM) linked_

If you've never seen Roderich Edelstein completely hammered, you're missing out. He was a completely different person! Liza never regretted getting him drunk, especially not when he was dancing and having fun. He even got past the mental barrier that tired him out after walking ten feet.  
It was later in the evening, and the only two who were barely buzzed were Antonio and Tolys. Everyone else was more or less drunk–Roderich being the most saturated. He was in the booth, or rather, sitting on the table, leaning back on his elbows, occasionally chuckling.

"Liza—Liz! Ca–Carry me to the–the stage!" he whined, rolling his head so that his glasses fell off. Liza snorted and shook her head,

"If you want to–to perform you can go on your own!" Roderich pouted and shakily sat up and slid to his feet. He wobbled to the stage when Gilbert was leaving with his tie on his head and aviators on his nose. Roderich stumbled past him, snatching the sunglasses off his face and picked a song from the karaoke machine on the stage. He took the mic from the stand by a simple chair, ready to sing even though he couldn't exactly read properly. Fortunately he knew the song that started playing by heart–in all its German glory. At least the onlookers would get the right lyrics out of him!

"Check it out yo! Huuh!" he cried into the mic as 80s synth pop filled the bar. He began to jerk and flail, reminiscent of that time period. There was nothing quite like alcohol and Falco to bring out the party in the usually reserved little man (except maybe David Hasselhoff.) "Der Kommissar" was possibly his favorite. 

"Two, three, four! Eins, zwei, drei. Na, es is nix dabei. Na wenn ich euch erzähl die G'schicht'! Nichtsdestotrotz ich bin es schon gewohnt im TV-Funk da läuft es nicht!" Roderich sang as he made a fool of himself for all to see. He was having a blast!

A short distance away, at the bft's booth, Gilbert was drooping over the table with his phone out, recording the show. He giggled under the influence at his ex. Who knew Roderich could be so much fun? Francis was snickering, judging the performer–a past time. Antonio was the only one who was mesmerized. He didn't quite recognize the man up there, disheveled and singing badly. He was kind of cute. 

"This—This is why I got Roddy smashed a lot!" Gilbert giggled quietly. Antonio gawked at him. No way! Francis chuckled at his stunned expression. 

"He is such a diva! All the time! He's only entertaining when he's drunk! He thinks he's Maria Theresa or something!"

"He's got a nice voice..." Antonio said robotically. That cute sassy teacher was up there rocking out and singing in key and time despite his inebriation. Antonio returned his attention to the singer and soaked in the performance. It was certainly a good show. 

And then there came a point when Roderich had a hand by his head with his fingers spread. He bent the middle one and pushed the sunglasses down his face. His violet eyes were lidded and reddened. He flashed a coy smirk to the poor fool who landed in his field of vision and winked as he spoke the next line,

"Alles klar Herr Kommissar?" And then he pushed those glasses back up and continued flailing. The poor fool who landed in his field of vision was bright red, because damn that Austrian could be hot when he wanted. Antonio was that poor fool. Francis snickered at his dumbfounded expression and shook him by the shoulder.

"He's a piece of work!"

"Art work..." Antonio mumbled. Francis didn't hear him. Instead he whooped and hollered at the Austrian, begging for more. It didn't even faze him. In fact it made him dance worse! He felt like cutest damn thing in the room. And he acted like no one and everyone was watching as he sang on,

"Drah Di net um, oh oh oh! Schau, schau, der Kommissar geht um! oh oh oh! Wenn er dich anspricht Und du weißt warum, Sag eahm Dein Leb'n bringt dich um!" he stumbled a bit and fell onto the chair behind him. He grabbed the back of it as he fell and landed miraculously on the seat. He kicked his legs out and leaned back, still singing, holding himself on the chair's back.

Antonio was instantly worried–someone (named Roderich) could get hurt! Francis started cackling when the Austrian fell. He made falling look good too! How!?

"Shut up French Fry!" Gilbert whined, "I'm–I'm recording!" Francis just couldn't stop though. Antonio blamed the booze. It was causing all sorts of chaos! And that chaos did not end with the song. 

"Yes, yes, I-I know I'm sim-simply too—too amazing for words!" Roderich cheered into the mic before falling limp over the chair like a noodle. Immediately after Gilbert and Francis started clapping and cheering–the recording over. Antonio stared at them, confused as all hell. 

"If—If you don't a-a-applaud him he's a cry!" Gilbert hiccuped. Antonio smirked and jumped to his feet. He whooped and hollered and clapped, trying to both get Roderich's attention and to keep the man from getting upset. Roderich trembled as he sat up and lifted the glasses off his face. He smirked and winked at him.

And then he flopped down and rolled off the chair, striking a pose. Yes, please draw him like one of your French girls! He giggled to himself as his world faded to black. The hangover he would have later would ruin his weekend. Good job Rod. Good job!


	6. Das Karte und der Kaffee

It was early morning that Monday. Roderich sat in his class room, making sure he had the right recipe cards for the week. He sifted through the papers and counted them quickly. Simple chocolate cupcakes for the beginner classes, lemon meringue cookies for the intermediate group, and for his advanced class, Hasselnuß Torte, and he was prepared to handle nuts. Both literally and figuratively.

"Hallöchen!" Gilbert sang as he kicked open the door with his signature smirk, "Wie geht's, wie steht's?"

"Ich arbeite. I'm working. So use English." Roderich groaned. Gilbert pouted,

"Fine! Did you see Antonio yet? I think he still had one of my flashcards from Friday night. And I'm meeting with a student soon, so I don't have time to waste!"

"Flashcards? Don't tell me you threw them at him on stage!" Roderich sighed.

"Be glad I didn't throw them at you! You were killing it!" Gilbert jeered. Roderich rolled his eyes. He couldn't remember Friday night and he didn't want to!

"I'll send you the video later. Now about Antonio."

"He's not here yet. I suggest you meet with your student and come back later. Which student is it anyway? It's a bit early to start tutoring yet."

"I know, but the kid is a total science nerd. Alfred Jones, the baseball captain. He doesn't even need my help!" Gilbert groaned. Roderich had no sympathy for him. The athletes were unable to meet after school so they had to get up extra early for help with their work. Who knows what Alfred wanted–bonding time with his awesome teacher, extra credit work, actual help with work, maybe a friendly ear, or recommendations. It was all in a day's work. 

"Jones is usually early for his appointments. He was in my intermediate class last year. You should head back. I'll talk to Antonio about that missing card. Which one is it?"

"Gold. Chemical symbol is AU. He would probably have it too. He's a little shit."

"Language Gil, we're in a school. Go deal with the so-called hero. I don't see why you can't make a replacement!" Roderich guided him out of the room, knowing a full blown rant was coming. It could last for hours!

"It's laminated!—" Gilbert huffed as the door slammed in his face and the lock clicked. He grunted and hurried off. Rod could totally handle getting a flimsy index card back!

* * *

"Tomorrow I'm quizzing you on kitchen safety! And remember who your assigned partner is for the year!" Roderich shouted after the bell rang. His beginner students bolted from the room to get to their next classes. He sighed as the hallway filled with students. He had an intermediate class next and no patience for it. He rubbed his temples and groaned. He was so getting a migraine. What could make it worse?  
"Ciao!" Antonio grinned as he poked his head through the doorway. Yeah, that could make it worse...

"Grüß Gott." Roderich grunted. Antonio chuckled softly and stepped inside. He moseyed up to Roderich. Great.

"So I was thinking, since we're neighbors and stuff, it might be nice to get to know each other. Maybe we could get coffee or something sometime. If you're interested." Toño asked nervously. He was so cute when he was nervous! Roderich sighed softly–he always brought coffee from home since he could not find a place that brewed their coffee correctly.

"Perhaps. Though I warn you, I don't drink just any coffee."

"Really!? You mean it?! Yay! Ooh–I know this place with great coffee! My brother's friend's cousin Kaiser Kirchhoff works there! He brews the best coffee! He's from Saxony and he's really cool! And—"

"Antonio, I have a class coming in." Roderich said holding up his hand, "If you don't mind, I have to teach it."

"Oh wow! You're right! My independent study is probably waiting for me! I hope Lovino doesn't get upset!" Antonio gasped.

"Lovino Vargas?" Roderich quirked an eyebrow at him, " He is not a patient student. He is sensitive and outspoken. He hated when Tolys was late to their tutoring sessions. That poor man."

"Oh geez! I should get going!" Antonio yelped. Roderich snickered–he was adorable!

"As for the coffee, does this afternoon work for you?" Roderich hummed. He decided that it was best to go before the school year really began. If Antonio was stressed now it would only get worse. It would be worth enduring Saxon German if it meant Antonio would be there too. It's not like it was a date!

"This afternoon? Yeah! That sounds great! I gotta go–see you later!" Antonio beamed and hurried out the door, trying not to trip over the first students entering the room. Roderich groaned and facepalmed. Gilbert wanted to get that damn cardback. Oh well. Next time. Roderich was too busy making connections in the workplace. That was it! Right?


	7. Classy

The second to last period of the day was Roderich's advanced class. He had everything set up, including kitchen partner assignments for the year. He was able to do this with his advanced class since only one or two had never taken any of his courses. He had index cards with the students' names written and placed in their assigned spots. He could admit that some were more randomized than others, but he couldn't care less about the backlash.

He watched as twelve students entered, ready to go. Most notably among the group were Alicia and Lovino Vargas, Alfred Jones, and Sakura Honda. The two girls were paired and sat up front. The two boys were paired in the third row. Lovino's face read anger and misery. It was Monday so that was understandable.

"The person next to you is your partner for the rest of the year. And no, there will be no trading unless I see fit." Roderich said, eliciting a death glare from Lovino. The teacher knew he was in for a long complaining session once the bell rang. At least Alfred looked over the moon. Roderich could only imagine if Antonio was as excited about the coffee later. Roderich promised himself it was not a date–even if Toño paid for everything because he was too cheap to pay for anything that Saxon made.

"Now. Most of you have been here before and you know the safety guidelines. If you feel ready, I can quiz you today or we could review. That cuts into your cooking time, and it's quite tedious. Raise your hand if you want a review." He scanned the students and smirked–not a single hand. Wonderful–he hated going over kitchen safety every year!

"Alright then. Put away everything except for a pencil. You have until the bell. That's plenty of time." Roderich mused as he picked up a stack of papers. He walked around the room, passing out the mandatory quiz–government rules could be so annoying! When he got to the last two students–Alfred and Lovino–he was winded. And Lovino's death glare did not help matters.  
He returned to his seat and idly watched the students work. One by one the completed quizzes came back to him. By the time all twelve came back, there were still about fifteen minutes left. His pupils decided amongst themselves to chat before their next class. That was fine. He just started grading the papers, occasionally glancing up to check on them.   
He noticed Alfred was talking loudly to Lovino with a stupid grin. Lovino looked even angrier than usual, utterly offended, and hurt. He made eye contact with his teacher and got up in a huff. Roderich braces himself as Lovino stood right in front of him.

"Mr. Edelstein, you have to put me with someone else! I can't work with that bastard!" Lovino hissed. He looked ready to cry. Well shit.

"You haven't even worked with him yet. Is there a problem?" Rod adjusted his glasses to look professional. Lovino bit his lip and nodded, unaware that Alfred was approaching.

"Yeah, he—"

"What's up Baggins?" Alfred cut the Italian off. Roderich caught the Hobbit reference immediately, and while he agreed it suited Lovino, the boy was trembling with rage. He refused to respond. That explained it.

"Alfred," Rod sighed, "I want to speak with you after class. Both of you go back to your seats."

"Uh, sure thing, teach!" Alfred smiled nervously. That nervousness was unwarranted if nothing was wrong, but Roderich needed more information.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Alfred asked nervously wringing his hands. Everyone else was gone and he needed to hurry to his next class. Roderich nodded and motioned him closer.

"Alfred, you and Lovino, I might switch your partners."

"No! Don't!" Alfred yelped and held up his hands, "I mean, I don't think that's necessary...we work really well together."

"Do you now? Lovino seems to think differently." Roderich frowned, "Tell me, why would that be."

"I'm not sure. We're friends. I help him with chemistry, say hi to him in the halls between classes. He's super cool." Alfred panicked, "I honestly don't know why." The poor kid looked so torn and defeated. 

"I see..." Roderich hummed. He had Alfred figured out already–he had feelings for Lovino, not necessarily romantic, but certainly strong ones. Perhaps he could get Lovino's story. He wrote a pass for Al and handed it to him,

"Alright, I'll give it a week before I decide, go to class." Alfred took it gratefully and hurried off. Roderich had to wonder what was going on. That could wait until after Gil cleaned/complained and after his coffee with Antonio.


	8. Sassy

Roderich slammed his head against the wall. Gilbert was cleaning up a bit–not that there was too much to do–and mumbling under his breath about a stupid Spaniard thief and ein fauler Lebanc. Rude. Very Rude. All over a stupid index card that Austrian just had to forget. Oh wait no—it was also laminated! Verdammt!

"Ciao!" A friendly voice came through the doorway followed by an equally friendly Antonio. Gilbert stood up straight and spun on his heels in one fluid motion. Antonio gulped as the Prussian marched up to him, Roderich, now fighting a mild headache, smirked at the pair—oh this could be fun to watch.

"Where is my card?" Gilbert snarled. Antonio held up a hand in defense and pulled the ever so important index card from his pocket. He held it out to Gil and asked hesitantly,

"What is this anyway? I was going to give it back!" Gilbert took the card and held the side with writing in Antonio's face.

"What are the big letters on this?" he hissed.

"A and U?" Antonio smiled meekly. He had no idea what Gilbert was so upset about.

"Right! This, AU, is gold!" Gilbert smirked darkly, "You stole my gold like some pirate bastard! The only one of the elements that went missing on Friday! I need my periodic table to teach! you'll pay for this—"

"For the love of Schubert!" Roderich groaned, "It's just a card! You didn't need it today and Antonio intended to return it. Why don't you go home and take your nap you overgrown child?!" His head met the wall again. It was impossible to deal with Mr. Awesome when he was cranky—that's part of why it didn't work out between them.

"Fine!" Gilbert huffed and stalked off. He needed his nap. Antonio sort of skipped to Roderich, unperturbed by the chemistry teacher.

"H-Hey Roderich, did you still wanna get coffee?" Antonio stuttered and fiddled with the strap on his computer bag—Rod did look annoyed and he was hitting his head against the wall. The Austrian flipped his hair and composed himself. He smiled softly at Antonio and nodded.

"¡Bueno!" he cheered. His eyes sparkled like a child and his smile was so bright. Roderich felt his heart skip a beat–oh no, that was not happening! Two failed marriages and a broken engagement were more than enough heartbreak for his lifetime, thanks.

"Please," Roderich motioned to the door, "lead the way." He grabbed his briefcase and followed Antonio out of the school and into the parking lot. He didn't even have a car–he lived across the street and gas is expensive! Antonio apparently did have one–a cute old green Toyota that was a little beaten and battered but still good. Antonio unlocked the doors and hurried ahead of Roderich.

"After you." he blushed, holding the door open. Roderich smiled and climbed in with a "thank you." Antonio beamed and carefully closed the door before racing to the driver's side and jumping in. He turned on the car, buckled in, and backed out of his spot smoothly. He drove onto the road and sighed.

"Do you mind if I turn on some music?" he asked, sparing Rod a glance. Roderich shrugged and did it himself. He was mildly surprised when the car filled with the voice of Jonas Kauffman. Let's just say Roderich was thrilled–he knew of few people willing to listen to classical music while they drove!

"Eh–you can change it if you want. I—" Antonio hesitated and reached for the eject button to switch CDs, but Roderich pushed his hand away and gasped,

"Don't! I haven't listened to 'Nessun Dorma' yet! I don't have this album!"

"You like this kind of music?" Antonio asked with his eyes on the road. He was surprised.

"Naturally. I'm Austrian, I have class. I didn't think you would even consider listening to this."

"After a long day, I really need to unwind–this is the only stuff I like that I can't dance to. Don't dance and drive Roderich." Antonio chuckled.

"Please, Rod or Roddy is perfectly fine." Rod flicked his wrist and let the music take him.

Antonio switched between watching cars pass them and watching Roderich in his trance. His eyes were closed softly, giving Antonio the perfect opportunity to admire his long, beautiful eyelashes that tickled his cheekbones. His pink lips were slightly parted, secretly mouthing the words. He was swaying so serenely. The man was gorgeous!

Antonio had to look away. He had to get to Kaisers Latte and then he had to find a place to parallel park. The quaint little town was made of brick buildings, sidewalks, and streets–sure there were some trees and flowers, but few parking lots that were always full. And lucky him, he found one right in front of the cafe! He glided into the spot like an old pro and turned off the car.

"We're here!" Antonio grinned and tapped Roderich's shoulder. Rod did a little jump and unbuckled. Antonio's eyes went wide and he scrambled out of the vehicle to open the passenger door. He really wanted to be gentlemanly with this guy–Rod was so artsy and refined, and Antonio was dying to impress him.

Roderich daintily exited the car and saw how perfect the park job was. He looked up to Antonio's face and internally blushed. The late afternoon sun was angled in such a way that those eyes gleamed like jewels and all the reds and browns in those curls stood out. Why oh why was Antonio so cute? He snapped out of it when he saw the light-up sign–a white oval with green cursive lettering.

"Kaisers Latte? Are you sure this is the place?"

"Yup!"

"Do you know what that means?"

"Kaiser's coffee."

"It's actually, 'Caesar's boner' Antonio. Unless he forgot the apostrophe, that's German, not English." Roderich frowned. Antonio's eyes went wide and his jaw fell slack. Oh that Saxon would get an earful! Was he the only one who could see the issue here?

This time Roderich got the door and followed Antonio inside. The walls were reddish brown and the tiled-looking floor had hues of yellow, red, and tan. A few people sat around round chic metal tables and in chairs that made it look like a Starbucks. The counter along the back wall was a beautiful dark wood piece with assorted pastries displayed on one side while the register was on the other. There were assorted coffee machines along the back wall and a chalkboard menu hung over them. A blonde with long hair leaned on the counter and smirked at them.

"Grüß Gott, Kaiser." Roderich walked up to the counter past Antonio.

"Moin Roddy, Tony!" Kaiser grinned at him and Antonio. Roderich frowned and rolled his eyes.

"My name is Roderich. What is the least expensive thing on the menu, next to nothing or 'Kaisers Latte' since I don't want that near my mouth."

"Really? Too bad! I suppose a plain, small coffee will do. And for you Tony?"

"Um, can I get a medium caramel latte please?" Antonio asked in a small voice. Kaiser chuckled and nodded.

"Is that all? And did Roderich explain the sign to you? He's no fun!" Kaiser pouted, "So are you paying together?"

"Yes." "No." Antonio and Roderich answered at the same time. Antonio looked to Rod and smiled,

"I invited you, Rod, allow me!" That smile would have been Roderich's undoing if the promise of free coffee weren't there. Always staying composed for any small gift was one of Rod's personal rules.

"Thank you Antonio, that's very thoughtful of you." Roderich hummed. Kaiser smirked, knowing Roderich pretty well. Antonio paid for the drinks and then took them and Roderich to a free table. Kaiser chuckled as they went–so this was his new crush. Feliks was right–they're so cute together. Heck maybe this time Roddy could have a happy marriage if it got to that point!

"So," Roderich hummed, "Why Italian? It's a beautiful language, of course, but there are others." Antonio sat across from him and smiled,

"Well, I speak Spanish of course, and English, but I decided to go with Italian because of one of the professors in college. Gilbert and Francis could tell you, I was a wreck. I tried concentrating on child social work but I was failing everything related to it. The only class I was passing was Italian with Romulus Vargas. He suggested I think about teaching Italian since I love kids and I was his number one student."

"He must be an interesting man." Roderich mused,

"Oh he is! He was fun and easy to talk to! He always told embarrassing stories about his son and grandsons! I think that's partly why Lovino doesn't want to talk to me during his independent study." Antonio laughed and sipped his coffee, "What about you?"

"Me? Well I have a degree in culinary arts and one in music theory. After college I spent two years playing for a traveling orchestra–the Gratz Acoustic for Young Specialists, I married a Swiss girl who played viola, but that didn't work out. I left the orchestra after the divorce. Then I got a job teaching Home Economics. I refuse to teach choir and band because I don't want one of the few things I love to be a source of stress."

"You were in the pianist in the GAYS orchestra!? You're the Roderich Edelstein?! That's so cool! I love them!" Antonio beamed, choosing not to ask about his divorce. He had two! Besides, orchestra stuff was pretty neat!

"Yes, well," he blushed softly, always interested in praise, but never sure how to accept it, "I'm sure you have quite a few interesting things about yourself. Care to share?"

"Oh! Right! Let's see–I play guitar. Back home at all the festivals I would play for anyone and everyone. I loved getting them to dance and come together." Antonio sighed wistfully, "The only problem was that I couldn't dance with them!"

"Hmm, you like dancing?" Rod took a sip of his coffee, and he remembered that the man could move! The alcohol sure as hell didn't ruin that memory!

"Oh yeah! I don't want to brag, but I was probably the best in Toledo. I picked up a few things in Italy too. Romulus taught more than grammar!"

"Speaking of Signore Vargas, I was wondering, you mentioned your independent study was his grandson Lovino. Have you noticed anything odd about him? I'm only asking because something feels off.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, he's always on edge when he comes in. He studies and corrects me while I teach my second level class."  Antonio said.

"That class, is there an Alfred Jones in it?"

"Yeah. He's so eager to learn! Why do you ask?"

"It seems like they're having problems with each other." Roderich sighed, "If you'd rather not talk about work—"

"Oh no! I'm fine with that! Making sure our students are safe is more important! Alfred seems to like Lovi well enough. I just don't know why he's taking Italian–he's taking Spanish 4 too–and he's a junior! Juan Machado, the Spanish teacher from Cuba, told me that he had one junior in his level 4 class–Alfred."

"Really? Maybe he does have a crush on Lovino!"

"You think so? I can't say anything just yet, but that would be so cute!" Antonio squealed pressing his palms against his cheeks. Speaking of cute...

"Yes, well," Rod coughed, "you said you play guitar? Perhaps I could listen to you play sometime. I would, of course, be happy to play something on the piano for you if you want." Antonio's face lit up and his childish grin was blinding. Roderich was falling hard and fast.

"Yes! That would be great! I hope I can impress the renowned Roderich Edelstein! And I would love to see him in concert!–my own private concert!"

"Y-yes, uh, of course...I suppose you could look at it that way..." Roderich stammered and avoided eye contact with him. Antonio was ready to squeal again–Roderich was adorable and shy and cute! And he was so classy and refined...and a little sassy. Oh Antonio would definitely try to win this one over! And as they chatted over coffee, he came up with a few ideas of how he would do it!


	9. Picking Up the Pace?

"Guten Morgen Tony! Happy Halloween!" Gilbert sang as he wandered into the Italian room before class started. Antonio was at his desk, which stared out at rows of student desks. A student was with him, with his back to the door, for some tutoring. He glanced at Gil and grinned before turning back to his student. Gilbert shrugged and waited. It had almost been a month since he took Roderich out for coffee and there was little progress between the two since–Gilbert was set on helping him.

"You see? It's not that bad. When in doubt try thinking about it from your Spanish. It might make your transition–not translation–easier, Al." Antonio hummed to the student. That's when Gilbert recognized the back of his head–Alfred Jones.

"Yeah I gotcha Mr. Fernández! Grazie mile!" Alfred chuckled and stood up straight. He turned and spotted Gilbert. He waved.

"Alright, I'll see you in class later!" Antonio smiled, "And if you really want more help than I can provide, I can find a student tutor for you."

"Thanks! I gotta split! Coach wants to see me!" Alfred hurried out the door,

"Lates Mr. B!"

"I have a doctorate Burger-breath!" Gilbert scoffed playfully and rolled his eyes. Alfred was his best student.

"Hey Gil, you know Halloween is a week away, right?" Antonio got up.

"As far as I'm concerned, it's always Halloween–especially during October."

"With a face like yours, I'm sure everyone who sees you wonders if it's always Halloween." Antonio smirked and crossed his arms. Gilbert clutched his heart and went weak in the knees,

"You wound me, Tony! That was Edelstein worthy!"

"Roderich..." Antonio sighed, "I don't know how to get him. He's had so much experience with relationships and I'm here, a clueless flirt who only had one serious relationship when I was in college. I don't want to be inadequate, and he's so distant. I don't want to scare him."

"Tony, Toni, Tonee!" Gilbert groaned, "I know that man–not as well as Liza–she saw him naked–so trust me when I say you gotta make the first move. He's not going to put himself out there. He's scared."

"You think?" Antonio pouted, "He's too good for me and he knows it. He pities me, that's all."

"Where did that self loathing come from? Broha, you're one of the best people I know! Handsome, kind, fun, cute, a great cook, patient, multi-talented, sexy–you can quote me on that–and all around awesome. You might be too good for Rod! I believe in you!"

"Maybe..." Antonio shrugged, then changed the subject, "Are you sure it was a good idea to call Al Burger-Breath?"

"He's my best student and we work on stuff outside of class. Boy is a genius. He filled his schedule this year and he cut his lunch break to take your class. He plays baseball and I honestly wonder how he does it. Especially when–wait, no, that's not something I can say. Point is we're bros and I'm the cool big bro."

"He wants to learn a lot faster than everyone else. He came into a second level class without a word of it! He's really trying to understand as much as possible. I can't keep up! I want to assign him a tutor...I'm thinking about Alicia."

"Alicia? No, you should pair him with Lovino–Alicia is easily distracted and way more volatile than him! Besides–Al wants to work with Lovino." Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Lovino doesn't like Alfred. And from what he's told me, Al just torments him." Antonio sighed, "I couldn't do that to him. His mother is in the hospital...she's doing better...so he says."

"That's good, right? Obviously her being there sucks but she won't stay there."

"Yeah. You see where I'm coming from. Well I think you should go before class starts." Antonio tried to smile. Gilbert was not buying it. He knew Antonio was having one of his depressive episodes. So rather than push him harder than he was doing himself, Gil let it slide and left with a toothy grin. 

**_Meanwhile..._ **

"Roddy, stop pacing for a second." Liza frowned from her perch on his counter. Roderich was pacing back and forth from one end of the room to the other. He approached Liza and crossed his arms. Oh that scowl was a wonderful sight in the morning! His mind was racing–he wanted to do something for Antonio, just because he had to see that smile again. He couldn't bring himself to live without figuring something out! Liza telling him to stop was too much–stopping meant the end!

"What is it? I'm trying to think of ways to drop hints!" he hissed. Liza jumped from the counter and got in his face.

"Listen. I am here to help, not deal with your hissy fit. Got it?" she hissed and grabbed his jaw.

"Listening."

"Good. You want to drop hints without saying a thing? Use your talents. Everyone likes free food. You have a whole kitchen right here." She was right! Roderich could make a little something for Antonio and leave a nice card! He wouldn't have to come face to face with him! He could do it...if he wanted to. That was the problem–did he want to take the risk? It was certainly a risk–what if Antonio hated the gift and never wanted to see him again? What if he loved it!? Only one way to find out!

"Might I have my face back?" He mumbled with a sassy edge to his voice–more so than usual. She sighed and let him go. He rubbed his jaw and thought aloud,

"He likes dessert...but he doesn't go for fancy cakes...that would be too obvious anyway...cookies? No, any idiot can make cookies..." Roderich groaned and began pacing again. Would Antonio prefer sweet or savory? Chocolate or vanilla? None of the above?Soft or crunchy? What if he messed up?! Could he even stand to face Antonio after a monumental failure? Would that adorable Spaniard even want to be near him if he failed? He would be better off crawling under a rock and dying at that point! Liza was half-listening–her mind was on breakfast. It wasn't the first time she blocked out the Austrian ramblings.

"Doughnuts sound good..." she muttered under her breath. Roderich's head snapped around to face her. He was deathly serious, and Liza was unnerved.

"That's it!" Roderich smirked, "I know what I can make for Antonio! The man is addicted to churros!"

"I thought it was tomatoes..." Liza chuckled. Rod was like a little kid, bouncing on the balls of his feet. A lovely change from his sour puss face before. It was perfect!

"Liza, you're a genius!" he cried. She smirked and shook her head. Roderich couldn't think straight–he had it bad. She was happy to help.


	10. A Fairy Princess

Roderich Edelstein was not a morning person. Still he was awake earlier than usual to complete a special task that he hoped he wouldn't regret. He held a warm paper plate in one hand as he moved down the empty school hallway. He was lucky that Vash was kind enough yesterday to lend him the skeleton key so he could drop off his gift without being spotted. He would die from embarrassment if anyone saw him attempting to do something so sickeningly sweet for someone else.

He held that plate like a silver platter and hastily unlock the door to the Italian room. He crept inside and spotted his target, a surprisingly organized and clean teachers' desk. He made his way over quietly and gently slid the plate onto the desk and rolled up a corner of the aluminum foil covering the treat inside–homemade Spanish churros complete with chocolate sauce. He covered it up again and pulled an index card with a little note from his pants pocket and set it next to his gift, with a faint smile. This might work.

The Austrian quickly crept from the room and closed the door, forgetting to lock it as he made his way to return the key–Vash was always in around this time. In his haste to leave, however, Roderich failed to notice a student spying on him from around the corner. Lovino Vargas. 

Lovino had come in early to talk to Mr. Fernández about tutoring or something. Whatever. As long as it wasn't Jones, Lovino wanted to be as far away from him as possible. The blonde kept picking on him–whether it was mocking his height or constantly correcting him in chemistry, the guy had to have had it out for Lovino. And only one teacher seemed to understand that–Antonio. Beilschmidt had an excuse, Alfred was good at chemistry, really good, and Lovino wasn't...at all. Edelstein was the worst. He told the snobby little man that he needed a new partner, but no! No, he kept them paired the whole time!

And just as he was about to round the corner to get to the Italian room, he saw Edelstein sneak out of it. The man stiffly hurried down the hall, away from Lovino, and the Italian knew something was up. A prank? Nah! Edelstein had a stick up his ass. Maybe Fernández was there extra early, but then why would Edelstein look like he robbed a bank? It was high time to investigate!  
Lovino moseyed into the room, clutching his bag. He was hit by the faint scent of cinnamon and chocolate almost immediately. His teacher was not there. He scanned the room and noticed the foil-covered plate and the note. He went over and picked it up. It said:  
_To: Antonio_  
_From: Roderich_  
Simple words with a not so simple meaning. Lovino was almost certain that Edelstein never gave out treats willy nilly and this was a gesture he might consider flirting. Lovino scoffed and crumpled up the note and shoved it in his pocket. If he couldn't get away from his tormentor, Edelstein wouldn't get any from his favorite teacher! He went to his usual desk and put his bag on the floor and sat down. He would hear what Antonio wanted from him.

* * *

  
"And so I said, 'Nein Mann, ich kenne keine Schweine dass ich bumsen möchte. Ich würde  _nie_  dich poppen!'* You should have seen his face! Theo was so angry! That'll teach him to call me a Saupreußen like that!" (No man, i don't know any pigs that i would want tohave sex with. I would _never_ bang you!) Gilbert reminisced as he did a quick clean up of the Home Ecc room. Roderich was on his usual perch, grading the latest intermediate projects. He rolled his eyes and said,

"I call you 'Piefke' and it means the same thing."

"You say it with love! That Bavarian bastard does not. I would be upset to know you meant it all those times!"

"You should know I—" Roderich began to tell Gilbert he only meant to insult half of the time when a rapid knock came outside the room. Gil stood up and went to answer it, since of course, the princess couldn't be bothered. He opened the door to reveal a very excited, jubilant Antonio.

"Hey Tony!" Gil grinned.

"Gilbert! You'll never guess what happened to me this morning! Someone left a plate of churros on my desk and they were so good! I haven't had churros that delicious since I was a kid!"

"Oh really?" Gilbert smirked and eyed Roderich across the room. He was smirking. And blushing as he graded papers. He was so smug, waiting for a thank you.

"Who made them?" Gil hummed, letting Antonio in. The Spaniard shrugged and pouted,

"I don't know. There was no note. Lovi told that he didn't make them–he doesn't know how!" Roderich's jaw dropped. Lovino was a little brat and he was gonna get a stern talking to!

"Oh I wonder who could have access to your classroom so early and have the ability to make food stuffs! If only we knew someone who could manage such a culinary feat!"

"If we don't find out, we could blame the churro fairy!" Antonio grinned.

"Of course–I'm sure it a fairy! A fairy princess." Gilbert said eyeing Roderich. Antonio bubbled and pulled Gilbert into a hug and cheered,

"Oh I hope so, those churros were magical! —oh crap, I gotta go! I'm meeting a student! Let me know if you find my fairy princess!" Antonio pulled away and hurried out of the room, shutting the door.

Gilbert turned on his heels and smirked mischievously at Roderich whose jaw managed to close. His face was beet red as he graded papers, ignoring the approaching Prussian.

"It's too bad we have to cross you off the list of suspects."

"Bitte?" Roderich glared at him.

"Yeah you never ever wake up so early!—Although...you do look a little shitty right now."

"Thank you for noticing!" Roderich hissed through gritted teeth.

"Touchy! Touchy!—So it was you! Why didn't you leave a note?"

"I did. The Vargas boy probably took it. I'll figure that out later."

"And you're not telling Antonio because..?"

"Why ruin his fantasy of a churro fairy princess?"

"It's not that far fetched, you know. You're a fairy and a princess. Are you perhaps, scared? I mean Antonio is scared too! Why don't you start by pulling your head out of your ass and tell him that it was you! Write it if you have to!"

"Antonio...is scared? He–it's mutual?—the pining is?—Mein Gott! Why did you have to tell me before school ends!?" Roderich groaned hiding his face in his hands. Gilbert chuckled and shrugged.

"You needed to hear it sooner rather than later." Gilbert grinned, "Tchüs!" He cackled and left before the next class started. Roderich was going to have to pull himself together on his own. That was a challenge.


	11. Confrontations

The second last period of the day was Antonio's free period. He was still desperate to find his churro fairy from almost two weeks ago, and he came to a conclusion–Lovino made them and he was too shy to admit he actually liked his teacher. What else could it be? Once the bell rang he would casually wait outside the Home Ecc room and thank Lovino as he was leaving for his locker and then prepare the exam he had planned for the day.

Instead of waiting, however, he had the test ready and decided that it would be a good idea to go a little bit before the bell. He took a peek through the little window on the door and smiled. Roderich was at the front of the room, speaking. It appeared that they were finished baking meringue cakes and would decorate them later. He was lucky he could hear the teacher explaining the plan for the next day.

"Once your cakes are properly iced, you will practice your piping skills. I have a few tutorials posted on-line if my instructions were unclear. Remember to bring your aprons tomorrow. Powdered sugar is a messy thing." Roderich said, glancing at Alfred whose shirt was covered in flour. Then the bell rang and he motioned Lovino to him as the other students headed toward the door. Antonio moved out of the way and tried to look as unsuspecting as possible as they passed. The last one out, other than Lovino, was Alfred.

"Catchya later Tappo!" the blonde called to Lovino and ran with a stupid grin to his next class. Antonio peeked into the room after he left and saw Lovino growling under his breath and stomping his way to a very disappointed Austrian.

"Lovino," Roderich frowned and adjusted his glasses, "Would you mind explaining why you took the note I left the other morning? If you want to impress your teacher—"

"God no!" Lovino scoffed, "The only thing I want is to get away from Alfred. That isn't happening, now is it?" Lovino folded his arms.   
"At this point, no. It seems you work well together. That still doesn't give you the right to take something that isn't yours."

"If I can't get away from that overbearing condescending bastard, I think it's fair if you can't get into his pants." Lovino snapped. Antonio went bright red. Roderich made those delicious churros!? And he left a note!? And he was too shy to say anything about it earlier!? And most of all, he returned his feelings?! So cute!

"Do you still have it?" Roderich folded his arms and stared down the equally stubborn student. His entire face was beet red. Lovino went too far and crossed a line. Thumbing at his pocket idly, he knew this, and he couldn't care less. It would not end well. It was his leverage.

"Excuse me..." Antonio said, knocking on the door. Rod and Lovino both turned their eyes to him. He sheepishly rubbed his neck and said,

"I wanted to talk with Lovi about something before my next class. It can wait if you're busy."

"I was just leaving." Lovino huffed and stormed out of the room, shoving Antonio as he left. Roderich groaned and facepalmed.

"Sorry, Rod. I didn't mean to interrupt." Antonio offered a weak grin.

"No, no, he would have continued to be a nuisance if you hadn't shown up."

"Nuisance?" Antonio asked innocently, though on the inside he was starting to get mad. Any good teacher knew damn well that no matter how annoying a student gets, they're rarely a nuisance–if Lovino needed help or had a question, dammit that was not at all being a nuisance.

"We've been having this problem all semester. Lovino wants to switch partners, and he's become increasingly insistent. It's a little late now, and I see no reason to separate them since they both do their shares. He and Alfred work well together. They're top of the class." Roderich said as he took off his glasses and idly cleaned them on his shirt.

"Did you say, Alfred? As in Alfred Jones?" Antonio gritted his teeth. Oh hell no! Roderich would not let that boy near his little tomato! Gilbert had an excuse, a lame excuse–Alfred was good at explaining science stuff, and Lovino needed the help. Roderich had no excuse. Was he the only one who realized Alfred was bullying Lovino to the point where he would show up during his free period and cry in front of a very heartbroken Italian teacher?

"Yes..." Roderich paused and observed him. Antonio's jaw was set, his shoulders were tense, and his glare was sharp under furrowing brows. He was hot—No! Bad Roderich, he's mad at you! Not the time!

"Assign those boys new partners." Antonio growled. Roderich's eyes went wide and his eyebrows rose for a moment. No one gave him orders, especially not ones with such conviction. Gilbert and Heidi had tried before, and failed. And he couldn't count Principal Zwingli. Perhaps in a more intimate situation this could be arousing. But the only thing aroused here was tension. Roderich's eyebrows fell and hooded his now narrowed eyes. Pride, stubbornness, and irritation radiated from the bundle of class and sass.

"In my classroom, I am in charge. With that being said; get out." Rod hissed. Antonio wouldn't budge. He crossed his arms and scoffed at the tiny man trying to act tough. This wasn't some frivolous issue that could be overlooked.

"Did I stutter? You have a class to teach." Roderich snarled, losing his limited patience. What would happen if he lost it? He would probably get his ass handed to him. Antonio growled under his breath and stormed off without so much as a goodbye. Neither one cared at that point, too wrapped up in themselves. Antonio nearly slammed the door to the Home Ecc room after entering the hallway. He would finish this discussion later, until then he had to make sure Lovino and Alfred were separated in  _his_  classroom.


	12. How Revealing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _who else likes exposition?_

"Alright, you have the rest of the period to finish your test." Antonio smiled at the front of the room after going over the instructions with his students. He smiled, though it was fake, and looked to Lovino. He motioned the boy over and when Lovino reached him, he led them into the hall and shut the door.

"What is it?" Lovino frowned and leaned against the wall. Antonio's smile fell and he sighed,

"Lovino, I know that it's been hard on you and your family now that Romulus is gone. I miss him too. I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine." Lovino scowled, "Mamma is getting better...she's on medication now. But you didn't drag me out here to talk about that." Lovino put a hand on his hip.

"No. I didn't. I was curious about your conversation with Mr. Edelstein."

"You heard it. I'm not stupid. I just wanted to get as far from that bastard as possible. Edelstein won't do a damn thing because 'we work well together' or something. I don't care if I might have a crush on him or whatever anymore, he's being a total dick and I can't take much more!" Lovino's pouted, crossed his arms, and kicked the wall. Antonio felt his heart crack.

"You still have his note? Well unless it has some kind of message on it, get rid of it. It's useless since I know. And as long as he keeps you in that position, know that he won't be getting this ass. I can't let my favorite Vargas boy suffer for no legitimate reason." Antonio rested a warm hand on his shoulder and offered a sympathetic grin. Lovino huffed and averted his gaze.

"You are an ass..I'm the  _only_ Vargas boy you know" he mumbled, "grazie mile..."

"Prego Lovi." Antonio chuckled, "I promise you, we'll get some distance between you and Alfred." He meant it–Tolys and Liza were on board, he had two Germanics to deal with. Too bad he didn't notice one coming toward them. And Gilbert heard that last statement.

"Hey! Tony! Lovino! Funny seeing you out here!" Gilbert called and stopped by them. The color drained from Lovino's face. Not this guy!

"Gilbert, I was just about to text you!" Antonio said, lacking his usual joy. Gil was not surprised it seemed.

"I bet. You know it's against school policy for teachers to talk shit on the students during school hours–especially with students." he frowned.

"Lovino, please, go inside. I need to have a word with Dr. B." Antonio told Lovino. The boy could tell this would not be pretty and bolted inside to his desk.

"Gilbert, no one was talking shit. You know that."

"I am going to assume that you're being honest because I know you well enough. But this whole issue with Jones and Vargas is getting to be a pain in the ass. Separation doesn't always work. I don't have any other students who are capable of getting their work done and helping someone at Lovino's level. Chemistry is not his strong point, and as far as I can tell, he doesn't want the help he needs anyway."

"Well what do you want me to do? His grandfather died this summer, his poor mother is suffering from severe depression, his father is working all the time to pay all these outrageous bills, and he has a sister and a brother who need him. He has enough emotional stress right now." Antonio folded his arms and frowned. 

"Don't act like Al doesn't have problems. He is a transboy—oh hey Liza–" Gil waved to his soon-to-be bride as she entered Roderich's classroom and then continued, counting off each problem on his fingers, "—with an identical twin sister. He has two dads, anxiety, and a full schedule with no lunch. I try to look at both sides–it's hard, but you have to try. I mean you do realize Lovino doesn't like me and he shows it but I don't think I'm against him. This is a problem we need to have Francis look at."

"What good will that do if Al does something to set Lovino off?" Antonio scoffed and narrowed his eyes.

"Al is kinda oblivious. If Lovino ever decides to snap at him, I would bet he'd be on his knees begging for forgiveness. He would totally stop doing something Lovino didn't like, if the kid said something." Gilbert waved him off and put his hands on his hips.

"What are you talking about. Lovino yells at him all the time!" Antonio gawked.

"In Italian, right?" Gilbert scoffed, "A language Al's trying to learn. One meeting with Francis can solve everything. The man can write a letter that would require us to keep them separate. Honestly, that's in the manual! Why so tense?"

"Work, Lovino, depression." Antonio sighed. Gil smirked wickedly,

"You need to get laid!"

"What?!" Toño blushed and yelped. Where did Gilbert get that (accurate...) idea?

"Well you better get back to teaching. I have a kitchen to clean! Bye!" Gilbert laughed and hurried into Roderich's room. He was not going to explain himself yet. Nope!


	13. Back Then...

Roderich gracelessly leaned on the counter. His grades were done, Gilbert's treats were ready, and short of cleaning (ew) he had nothing better to do. He lazily scrolled through his pictures on his phone and pouted. He never figured out how to delete them, and all of his memories were there. The photo he had just landed on was ancient. He was so young when he took it. Heidi was there, sitting in one of the elegant gardens they frequented. Her blonde hair was down and draped over one shoulder. Her cold, sharp eyes were soft and loving, locked on the shy little man behind the camera. A soft smile graced her lips. This was the picture Roderich took right before he got down on one knee. Right before she tackled him and punched him repeatedly screaming "yes!"

He had dreamt of his future as he tended to the wounds later that evening. He would love and cherish her until the end of his life–no matter how cruel time was to her. They would have grown old together in absolute bliss. What happened? Not even a year after the elegant but small wedding, reality set in. Jobs, bills, living arrangements, and arguments.   
Personality clashes and debates about children came into play. In the end, they could hardly be in the same room for too long, much less the same bed. Roderich wanted to remember how she looked as Heidi Zwingli–now he only needed to ask Vash, her brother.

"Roddy?" a voice snapped him from his thoughts. He looked up to see Erzsebeta in the doorway. She came in and smiled at him. She was the only one that he could work out his problems with in a civil, understanding way. He wished he could have been straight or maybe bisexual because Liz was at one time the only person in his life who he would have done anything for--including divorcing her if she wanted.

"Liza, hello! What's a girl like you doing in a kitchen like this?" he smirked and put away his phone. Liza rolled her eyes and smirked back, already aware that he was kidding. Mostly.

"You know damn well I came here for a sandwich! Get going!" she giggled and leaned on the counter next to him, "And also because I wanted to give you your invitation."

"Ah yes, the wedding invitation!" Roderich hummed, "The piece of cardstock that I get to put in your scrapbook."

"Roderich, you know you don't have to make a scrapbook just for Gil and I. We have a few photo albums already. We'll be fine without–don't worry about it." Liza sighed, "Not that we don't appreciate it. You're already doing so much for us. The cake, the planning–almost everything!"

"It's not a complete wedding if you find yourself stuck trying to remember something that happened and you can't recall it." Roderich stood up and rolled his shoulders. He had two and a half scrapbooks at home to remind him that his own happiness wouldn't last. Liza could tell he was in a bit of a slump, though she didn't know why.

"What's wrong, Roddy?" Liza asked tentatively. Roderich glanced at her over his shoulder and sighed dramatically,

"I made him mad...at me...I pissed off Antonio. Now he'll never figure out that I made those churros for him." his voice cracked like a hormonal teenager's. He was trying not to cry.

"I can tell him for you." Liza suggested gently.

"Absolutely not!" Roderich snapped and spun around on his heels. Tears ran down his face and his knees shook. Liza hurried and caught him in a hug as his knees buckled.

"There, there. I've got you." she cooed.

"It wasn't even a fight!" Roderich groaned, "J-Just an obvious disagreement!"

"Rod," she said sternly, "one disagreement doesn't mean it won't work."

"I know that!" he huffed, "But I was reminded of all the times it didn't work out. What's stopping it from happening again? I just want to find a man to spend my life with. Is that too much to ask?!"

"Roderich Edelstein!" Liza barked, "Pull yourself together! This is spinning out of control!" He paused and looked up at her. She was serious and stern.

"Antonio is not going to be like me or Heidi or Gilbert. You're going to be alright." she stated, and noticed the door behind Rod cracked open. Oh no.

"I know! I don't know why I'm crying! I'm stressed out over the usual work and I shouldn't be!"

"You just need to find someone to bone!" Gilbert jeered and closed the door behind him. Roderich's tears halted instantly. He rose to his feet and spun around on his heels with his head lowered and his hands balled into fists, pressed against his sides.

"Bone?! BONE?!" Rod barked. He lifted his head and glared at Gilbert, who was snickering. He was hoping for this reaction–it meant Roddy would be okay. Liza still hid her face in her hands and shook her head–she agreed to marry this idiot!

"Gilbert Beilschmidt! I may be your ex, but how dare you suggest that! I am a creature of class and art and I am shocked and offended you even think I need to bone someone!" Roderich was going off. And this instance wouldn't be the end of it. Liza knew that. So did Gil. He unleashed a monster.

"Bone!?" Rod snarled again. Liza got up and went to her fiancé, far from pleased with this turn of events. She almost wanted to leave and give Francis his invitation since Gil would be preoccupied. Then again, this could be fun.

"He has a point Roddy. You haven't slept with anyone since we were married. And you are a little bit on the needy side."

"You too?! God, I can't believe both of you are suggesting I find a gigolo to bone!" Roderich continued his rant in the most Viennese dialect either of his observers ever heard. Gilbert cringed, catching bits and pieces of the horrible rant. Liza leaned to the side and whispered in his ear,

"You started this, sweetie. Don't finish it–I'm the only one allowed to bone you."

"Liza!" Gilbert yelped and went red. She giggled and casually deliver the last invitation. Roderich didn't notice or care. Poor Gil...

"BONE!?" he shouted to the ceiling.

"BONE?!"


	14. Memories

"BONE?!"

Roderich snapped this at Gilbert when he came by for the next week, no matter what the context. It was almost a sort of greeting, even with Vash around. This charming Friday, Gilbert was late because he was visiting Francis. The blue office had a desk in the corner and three ugly yellow arm chairs in a circle in the middle. Francis had his hair tied back and had a pair of reading glasses on his nose, despite only being in his thirties.

"So what you're telling me is that in order to get Antonio his princess, as well some sense of balance in your classes, I should meet with Lovino and Alfred to talk out their differences. Am I correct?" The blonde sighed from his desk, sifting through his papers. Gilbert stood in front of the desk and nodded. The sooner he could help his students, the sooner he could help his friends. He would be happy to see them together before the wedding.

"Right! More for the students' benefits than his." Gil smirked, "And if I'm not stressing over those two kids, I can focus that stress on the wedding with Liza!"

"It's about time!" Francis chuckled, "I can hardly believe that you're finally tying the knot with that woman! And right before your 33rd birthday!"

"Shut up! Making me feel so old! Roderich is the same age! You're 36 and single!"

"Hmm true I am an old man, but Alistair, my darling, will see a ring soon enough. We are old, in love, and Arthur is starting to warm up to the idea."

"Well wait until New Year's Eve, at the reception! We know Antonio won't pop the question so soon!" Gilbert laughed. Francis grinned wickedly. He could only imagine that scenario. Especially when poor young Antonio was prone to dramatic gestures that called for a crowd.

"Do you remember when he asked Emma to go out with him?" Francis chuckled. He couldn't forget that day if he tried. Apparently neither could Gilbert. It was clear as day in both of their minds.........  
  


* * *

Imagine if you would, a college campus courtyard nine years earlier–a courtyard with crisscrossing pathways to brick and plaster buildings of higher learning and a small hill in the middle. A few odd benches lining the pavement. Gilbert and Francis, two doctoral students, the latter finishing his dissertation sat close to the hill, sipping their double espressos, enjoying the spring air. The bees buzzed under a blue sky while butterflies fluttered by. It was tranquil despite the tension in the air surrounding the upcoming finals and a hypnotic melody coming from somewhere on the yard.

"Hey, French Fry," Gilbert smirked and nudged his friend, "Get a load of that!" he pointed to the hill. Francis looked and nearly spit out his drink. Antonio was playing an acoustic guitar, on one knee. The girl in front of him was blushing bright red under her blonde hair. Her hands covered her face as he sang one of his own cheesy love songs. People on their way from class stopped and stared at this handsome first-year as his magnificent voice rose above the murmur of the campus hustle and bustle.

"What on earth—?" Francis said as his jaw hit the ground. Was Antonio proposing to this poor girl? As far as he knew (and he knew quite a bit) Emma and Antonio weren't even dating! Gilbert was fighting back the urge to laugh, for Emma's sake more so than Antonio's, and he was on the verge of breaking.

"Emma, please! Just one small date with me!" Antonio cut into his own chorus, making a few bystanders coo and squeal. Emma shook her head, completely flustered. This boy was a piece of work! It didn't deter Antonio, though. Oh no, if anything, he expected such a reaction. He continued to play but stopped singing so he could hold a rose between his lips. Gilbert had to bite the back of his hand to stop his laughter. Francis facepalmed--he felt that asking someone on a first date should be less...public.

Antonio stood up and lazily twirled around her, pausing his playing only once to slip the flower in her hair. He was smart enough to remove the thorns this time around. He began to sing his sweet Spanish melody again. Francis didn't care how cute he was being, Antonio needed to stop. Emma could only take so much more! But the second he got up, Emma removed her hands from her face and muted the guitar with trembling fingers. She was somewhere between laughing and crying. She whispered a response in Antonio's ear, to which he cheered, picked her up by the waist and spun her around. Success! Francis and Gilbert could only imagine what something more serious would entail..........  
  


* * *

"Yeah, I think he's calmed down by now!" Gilbert snickered, "But yeah, I'll see you later French Fry. I have work to do!" Gilbert waved and hurried off to the Home Ecc room. He had cupcakes waiting for him, and he needed to torment Roderich a bit more for the day to be complete. He walked down the halls and came upon that fated door. He was in such a good mood, he completely forgot that Roderich was still irritated by his earlier comment. He knocked on the door twice and walked in. Instead of a hello, Roderich spotted him and shouted,

"BONE!?"


	15. Problem Solved

Lovino hunched over with his bag on his back. It was the last period, and after escaping Hell's Kitchen, as he called it, he went to his locker to gather his books. He was on his way to his favorite class, his independent study with Mr. F. Sure that cute bastard would be there, but Mr. F. kept them apart. Lovino was beyond grateful, especially when Alfred wouldn't leave him alone.

"Hey Mario!" Alfred's voice rang through the hall. Lovino ducked his head and tried to get away. His heart was pounding in his ears. It seemed a majority of the English language flew from his mind.

"Hey! Wait!" Alfred yelped even louder, "Toppo! Hold up!" That only made people pause and stare. Lovino ran. He got to the classroom and skidded to a halt right in front of the teacher. He had an odd smile on his face and he gently pulled Lovino aside.

"Lovino, Dr. Bonnefoy wants to see you in his office." Antonio handed him a hall pass. His hands were shaking. Lovino skeptically took it, not ready to argue with someone so stressed. The dark circles under his eyes looked like someone took a marker to his face and his movements seemed more and more sluggish. Fernández was a mess, and Lovino took pity on him.

"Fine. If it's about Nonno or Mama, I'm leaving." Lovino scoffed and turned on his heels to visit the school psychologist. Antonio went back into his room with a more realistic smile.

Lovino wondered what Bonnefoy wanted. He admitted that he was stressed out by almost everything these days, so there were so many possibilities–his grandfather's death, his mother's condition, his sister and brother, his dad always working, his falling grades, his bully. He didn't have to wonder for long. He knocked on the door and entered the office when prompted.

"Lovino, welcome, you're right on time." Francis smiled from the chair facing the door and gestured to the only empty seat–Alfred's cowlick bobbed from the other. Oh no.

"Please, have a seat. All of your mutual teachers believe that this meeting will benefit everyone. Alfred has agreed to work with you and I to solve this problem of yours." Francis added. Lovino remembered his Italian teacher's worn presence and begrudgingly sat down. He owed it to the man for listening to him cry.

"Now then, Lovino, would you mind explaining what this issue with Alfred is? He is...er—confused. As am I."

"Confused my ass!" Lovino huffed, "He's a dick!"

"Can you be more specific...and less vulgar?" Francis coughed and eyed him carefully. Lovino rolled his eyes.

"He always makes fun of me–my height, how bad I am at chemistry. And he doesn't let up!"

"But Toppo—" Alfred began only to be cut off by an accusing finger,

"This is the shit I'm talking about! Mario, Shortie, Baggins, Toppo–all the time! I get it! I'm not tall and strong–my little sister can kick my ass!"

"Wait, that's what it means?!" Alfred gasped. He looked horrified, "That bastard from New York told me Toppo was something like 'hot stuff' not—oh shit!" he hid his head in his hands, "I am so sorry Lovino!"

"Mind if I ask why you wanted to call him 'hot stuff?'" Francis hummed. This was getting interesting! Alfred looked up and kept his gaze away from the Italian. Lovino was staring at him quizzically–he had the same question as Dr. Bonnefoy.

"Well...uh...you see...I...er...maybereallylikehimalot."  Alfred blushed. Francis had never seen a student turn so red so quickly. That is until he got a look at Lovino. The boy was still obstinate and irate but his features were softer.

"I see...is this the reason you chose to add Italian to your full schedule?" the Frenchman pressed on. If he could find a way to bring Lovino back into the discussion quickly, everything would move faster. Alfred shifted in his seat and nodded,

"He doesn't like to speak English around me, maybe a couple short words here and there. I just want to know what he's saying–I guess he was telling me to fuck off this whole time..."

"No." Lovino deadpanned, "I-I didn't always say that..." This was exactly the interjection Francis needed.

"Lovino, would you mind telling me some of what you said to him, in English. Pretend he's not here for the moment." Dr. Bonnefoy looked him in the eye and saw a hint of embarrassment in those hazel pools. Lovino took a deep breath and sighed,

"I said a few things like, 'Knock it off you bastard, I can't think straight with you so close.' and 'I don't care how hot you are, stop it.'" He stared at the ground and let out a dry laugh before continuing, "'I can hardly breathe when you smile at me like that–don't make it so damn hard to hate you.'"

"I see..." Francis grinned, "And I think I might have a solution for you." Both students looked up at him hopefully. He was used to these situations ending far differently, and he was so happy to end like this.

"It's simply a little miscommunication issue. I would suggest firstly that Alfred stops noting Lovino's height, and secondly he pays attention to Lovino's body language since Lovino is having trouble communicating verbally. Thirdly I think it would be good for Lovino to either write down his thoughts to translate or pause and try to use English, no matter how much he stammers. You have no idea how rare it is that an issue like this is due to mutual pining! Finally, I would recommend that you don't separate during class. How do you feel about that?" Francis glanced between two flustered students.

"I'll do it–whatever Lovino wants to do is fine by me. I'm really sorry..." Alfred sighed and looked hopefully at Lovino. The boy was stiff and uncomfortable, a bad sign. Francis was calm and patient with his stoic silence. Alfred wanted to curl up in a ball and die. He was an idiot and he caused this mess more than Lovino.

"Dobbiamo baciare?" Lovino mumbled to Francis. The Frenchman smirked and shook his head,

"Only if you want to!" he winked and added, "I know you do!" Lovino scoffed and rolled his eyes. Alfred, the poor kid, wanted a direct answer, not a lesson in translation! He was determined to figure it out.

"Fine..." Lovino crossed his arms. Francis beamed and got up. He went to his desk to write a note for their teachers, especially Antonio. While he did that, Alfred looked at Lovino and smiled weakly, unable to translate the question just yet.

"Grazie, bello. I'm so sorry for everything, bro. I guess I should have asked if that nickname was okay, huh?" Lovino's blush traveled down his neck and to his ears.

"I-It's fine...I think that New York bastard meant 'Tato' not 'Toppo'" Lovino stammered, "but 'bello' is better, cicci." Alfred's grin grew. Not only did Lovino give him a pet name, he also figured out what Lovino said: "Do we have to kiss?" Lovino liked him back!

"Now," Dr. Bonnefoy turned around with a note in hand, "You boys head back to class and give this to Mr. Fernández. Feel free to stop by anytime if you need anything." He gave Lovino the note and then the students stood. Francis guided them to the door and watched as they walked side-by-side with their hands idly brushing and eventually intertwining. Perfect. Next step, rejuvenate Antonio's love life!  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Translations** _   
>  _Tappo- shortie or rat_  
>  Tato- term of endearment not easily translated  
> Cicci-sugar/fatty but meant lovingly  
> Dobbiamo baciare?- do we have to kiss? 
> 
> Fun fact: Italian-Americans think we know Italian but we usually don't!


	16. Dress

Ah the weekend–a time to rest and catch up on work for many. Not Erzsebeta Hédérváry and Gilbert Beilschmidt! With the wedding closing in, and the holidays approaching, they had no time to waste. Gilbert was out getting fitted for a tuxedo with Antonio and Francis, while Roderich and Feliks were sitting in a bridal boutique, helping Liza with her dress. Feliks argued that Gil shouldn't see it until the wedding, and Roderich agreed fully.

Roderich idly sat on one of the black couches set up for friends to observe the dress-altering. He flipped through a magazine with Feliks anxiously awaiting Liza to show off her first choice. Roderich was mildly interested–Liza wore a tux to their wedding and she was beautiful, seeing the gym teacher who could kick his ass with a flick of her wrist in an elegant gown would be quite a surprise–a pleasant one hopefully.

He looked around the room while he waited, rather than fiddle around on his phone like the blonde next to him. The cream walls were lit by filtered sunlight through white chic curtains hidden behind a parapet of mirrors. Near the middle of the room there was a circular platform in front of the mirrors blocking the windows with four surrounding it in a hexagonal shape, leaving a space for the model and tailor to enter. It created a view for the people who waited on the two couches. Roderich could see a small table covered in sewing supplies. There was a door to the dressing room on his right.

"Alright, come this way, you're doing fine." a voice said behind the door. The tailor, a cheerful man with shaggy black hair and brown eyes, came out and held the door open.

"I need to wear heels more often to practice!" Liza laughed as she entered. As soon as Roderich laid eyes on her he blushed. Her dress was simply gorgeous. It was strapless with a long, poofy skirt and Hungarian floral embroidery across the top left side of the bodice. There was no train but it was brushing the ground too much and she had to hold it up by pressing her arms to her sides.

"André, you do, like, amazing work!" Feliks shyly complimented the Ecuadorian tailor. He smiled at the blonde as he helped Liza onto the platform.

"Gracias." he chuckled, "But I think Lizzy works the dress more."

"Du bist so schön dass ich kann's nicht glauben." Rod gasped, too stunned to speak anything other than German. Oops.

"¿Qué?" André grinned. He was used to that reaction. Roderich shook his head and sighed,

"I mean, you look beautiful Liza."

"Danke Roddy!" Liza smirked down at him. André crept around to the table and grabbed his turtle-shaped pin cushion. He then knelt by the platform and worked on making the dress the correct length.

"So Roderich," Feliks smirked, "Are you back on good terms with Antonio?" Roderich paused and stared at him. After Lovino and Alfred entered the Italian room hand in hand, Antonio relaxed a little bit. He still hadn't spoken to Roderich, besides a quick greeting, since. Honestly Roderich was hurt and stubbornly avoiding the topic, but he was also worried for the man. Antonio lacked his luster from the beginning of the school year, and from what Rod saw, he looked like a dead person.

"I'm not quite sure if I should call Mr. Fernández by his first name. Does that answer your question?"

"Antonio Fernández..." André mused with a pin delicately held between his lips, "I haven't heard that name for a long time."

"Do you know him? Antonio Fernández Carriedo?" Liza asked the man at her feet.

"Of course! He's my second cousin! We had a turtle lovers club when we were kids! But that ended when he moved away."

"Really? He's helping Gilbert find a tux!" Liza beamed, "Next time I'll bring him instead!"

"Only if he's still taking his meds..." André sighed. Like everyone else, Rod was curious and a little confused. The proverbial elephant had entered the room and the air became tense for a few minutes as André did his work. He was like Antonio in that he had trouble reading the atmosphere. But even he could tell he had some explaining to do.

"Antonio was on medication last I heard–our parents talk a lot. He has bipolar disorder, only he never reached full blown mania before. He gets depressed and starts to shut down..."

"Oh my...I had no idea. I'm sorry for bringing him up...". Feliks shrank into himself. Liza remained silent. Roderich hummed and frowned as the gears in his head started turning. He was having a mini internal debate–did Antonio dislike him, or was he in a downward spiral? Should the Austrian invite him out on a date? A little outing as friends? More churros? Should he do anything? He wanted to but that just left him wondering if Antonio would appreciate it.

"Don't worry about it! I guess you know what you're dealing with now! He needs friends like you, concerned and ready to help!" the brunette shrugged, "I'll give you my card before you leave to give to him! We got along well, if he's down it might cheer him up."

"That's a wonderful idea!" Liza cheered. André smiled at her and dove into his work. Three pins later and he was ready to adjust the top. It was then something occurred to Roderich–it was a winter wedding and a summer dress!

"Pardon me," Roderich cleared his throat, "Liza, you do realize that January isn't June."

"I remember. Do you remember that the date is December 31st?" she frowned, "I will have a cape."

"Alpaca wool, nothing's warmer!" André cut in as he carefully instructed Liza to lift her arms a smidge. Roderich closed his mouth and pouted. He made an ass of himself. Again. He remained silent for the remainder of the appointment. 

* * *

 

Once all was said and done, André guided his clients to the door and handed Roderich a business card with a handwritten number on the back. The front said: "André Martinez Romero, designer"

"You seem like the guy who already has an idea of what to do. Please give this to Toño when you see him. I'd appreciate it so much!" André smiled. Roderich put the card in his pocket. It might be even more important than Gil's periodic table index cards! (Not likely...)

"Of course. I shall see to it. Thank you. It's been nice meeting you."

"Likewise! See you soon!" André smiled as the party left the shop.

"Where to now?" Liza smirked with an idea already–the bar to celebrate the weekend and getting her dress. Roderich facepalmed and groaned. Feliks pouted and shook his head,

"I have an important date tonight. Tolys said he wanted it to be special. I can't go with you tonight."

"Oh! Well then it's just me and Roddy! Good luck tonight!" Liza winked and pulled Roderich into a side-hug.

"What is it with you and Gil and beer!?" Roderich groaned.

"You can play piano if it's open." Liza scoffed playfully. Roderich sighed and smirked. To the bar!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _André is Ecuador if that wasn't clear_


	17. Erlkönig

When Roderich and Erszebeta arrived at their usual hangout, they were almost surprised to see the bft's booth half full. Gilbert spotted them and waved while he was sandwiched against the wall by a sad Antonio. Liza half dragged Roderich over and sat across from Gilbert with a huge grin. Roderich dusted off the bench and daintily sat down. Antonio was staring at the table, unaware of the people around him.

"Liza! Spätzchen! How awesome is that dress? I can't wait to see you in it!"

Oh Gilbert, you have to wait!" Liza giggled, "Unless you want Roderich to model it."

"I never agreed to that!" Rod huffed and crossed his arms. He couldn't look away from the drooping Spaniard across from him. André was right–the man was shutting down.

"Besides," Roderich hummed, "I would hardly do it justice. I'm a twig, you wear it Gil, you always brag about your ripped pecs."

"Nah! I'm too tall! Oh!—Hey Tony, wanna be a model?" Gil wiggled his eyebrows. Antonio looked up at him and shook his head,

"I don't wanna wear a dress."

"Party pooper, as bad as Roderich!" Gilbert pouted. Roderich scowled, of all the stupid insults he could have used...party pooper?

"Fresse. Also Entschuldigung." (Shut it. Now, excuse me) Roderich huffed and stood up and went to the karaoke stage. It was cleared except for a piano that longed to be played. And who better to tickle the ivories than Rod?

Liza and Gilbert were used to Roderich's drive to perform. Antonio was not, he wearily turned and watched the little man as he went up to the piano and dust off the bench. He sat down in a reverent fashion and carefully brushed his fingers over the keys. He rolled his neck and began to play. Antonio was amazed as a fast-paced melody filled the room. It made Antonio feel like he had to run away from a monster–which was almost a miracle considering his state.

"Erlkönig?" Gilbert groaned, "I love it, and he has to warm up but dammit! It's so creepy!"

"You're surprised he started with Schubert?" Liza rolled her eyes, "But I agree, especially without a singer."

"You ever hear this one Tony?" Gilbert nudged him. Antonio jumped a little and sheepishly rubbed his neck.

"Yeah..."

"Rod likes to start with this, but he takes requests." Liza smiled softly, "If this is bothering you, go ahead and tell him." Antonio smiled back and nodded. Roderich played beautifully and he might know something a little bit less...Germanic. Gilbert moved and sat next to Liza. He got up and just before he went to Roderich, Gilbert opened his fat mouth.

"Tell him Gilbert wants something on the erotic side if you can't think of anything!" Antonio chuckled awkwardly and hurried away from the booth.

He felt his heart in his throat as the piano got closer. Roderich was so beautiful when he was focused and relaxed. The gentle grin that twitched into a hard line occasionally. His eyes were closed as his deft fingers danced on the keys. He was at peace and one with his craft. Antonio longed to feel that content. He wanted to be near the musician.

"Is there a reason you're gawking at me?" Roderich said curtly as he played and snapped Antonio out of his trance, "I told you I was in an orchestra..." Antonio smiled sheepishly–good, he was smiling.

"You're really good—super good!" he laughed, "I had no idea!"

"Why don't you have a seat. There is room on the bench." Roderich hummed as the song ended. He was doing his thing and couldn't care less if this stunningly handsome man was next to him, he wouldn't be nervous or mess up. He was Austrian dammit, music was in his blood!

Antonio was another story. Roderich wanted him to sit down at the piano while he played! This music reached out to him and touched his heart which was beating uncontrollably. He felt a warmth in his chest that he missed for so long. He gingerly sat down with a faint blush caused by his rapid pulse.

"Any requests?"

"I-If you know Joaquin Turina, maybe–maybe 'Clowns?'" Antonio stammered. Roderich shot him a coy smirk and said,

"That can be arranged." Spanish circus music–a little different but not difficult. For Antonio, he would probably perform "Hollaback Girl" without a second thought. He wanted to see that dazzling smile. He began to play a lively, but eerie tune. Antonio closed his eyes and swayed to the music with the ghost of a smile on his face. Roderich stole quite a few long glances. Antonio was focused and calm. Roderich felt his heart skip a beat.  
  


"See, I told you!" Francis chuckled at Gilbert. He hovered over the table and watched his young friend and the pianist. Alistair was working the bar, why not set up a scenario where Antonio had to talk to Roderich? Why not say a long hello to his boyfriend in the meantime?

"I never doubted you Frenchy. I thought Roderich might still be—zornig...auf Englisch—mad!" Gilbert replied. He was cuddled up to Liza with his head on her shoulder.

"Have a seat Francis." Liza hummed as she ran her fingers through dove-feather locks. Francis smirked and shook his head. He casually sat across from them and turned to see Antonio and Roderich as the song ended. Blossoming love!  
  


"Did you have any other requests?" Roderich breathed as Antonio's eyes fluttered open. He pouted with wide eyes and shook his head. He scooted to the edge, about to stand when Roderich spoke up,

"You can stay if you would like. I enjoy your company." he blushed a little.

"Gracias." Antonio sat down again. Roderich idly began to play an easy jazz tune and smiled for the both of them,

"My pleasure. It's been a while, how are your classes?"

"Oh! Good, good. The kids are so smart. But I can't let Alfred and Lovino sit together...they get along too well. They don't ever stop talking!"

"I suppose that's a good thing, or at least less stressful—what is that smell?"

"Cologne..." Antonio mumbled. At least he hoped it was his cologne. Showering regularly was a bit of a struggle for him. But then Roderich just closed his eyes and nodded,

"It's a delightful aroma. Suitable for a delightful man, if you don't mind me saying." He peeked at Antonio, who was a blushing mess–simply adorable! He chuckled to himself and added,

"What brand?"

"Royal Violets...it's cheap but I like it." Antonio chuckled and rubbed his neck. Roderich knew that brand and wore it himself occasionally, but mixed with the man's natural musk, it took on a new character.

"As do I. Are you alright Antonio? You seem a bit down." Rod asked, though he knew something was wrong.

"Me? I–uh–yea—"

"Don't lie to me. It's obvious something is wrong."

"It's nothing really, it's just a little lonely now that Romulus is gone. He was like a second father to me. Gilbert thinks I just need to get laid. Easy for him to say–he'll be married by next year! I don't want a random hook-up...I want it to be special, you know?"

"I've gone through two divorces, and a called-off engagement. I understand completely." Roderich sighed and ended his song. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the business card. He gave it to Antonio and said,

"I can't bring Romulus Vargas back from the dead, but I ran into someone who you know–André Martinez Romero. He asked me to give this to you." Antonio took the card carefully as if it were an ancient artifact. His lower lip quivered and his eyes welled with tears. Roderich was unsure of what he should do.

"André? He-he's here? I can't believe it! I-I-I-I–I—" Antonio broke down into sobs. He hadn't cried since the funeral—and he needed to. He felt the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders. It was a good thing, but Rod didn't know that.

The pianist got up and guided Antonio to the booth. Gilbert and Francis glared at him while their friend crumbled. They said nothing and then took Antonio from the bar, leaving Liza with a small bill. To hell if Roderich paid! Little did they know that Roderich set off a wonderful chain of events.


	18. What Just Happened?

It was the middle of the school day, and Gilbert was doing a quick clean up in the Home Ecc room. With the way the weekend went, Roderich was damn lucky Gilbert even bothered coming. He had made Antonio, poor sweet Antonio, cry.

Of course, Roderich could hardly believe what had happened and felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. He sat on his usual perch and filled out paperwork with students' grades for the day. It was just so quiet aside from the sound of scrubbing and his pen scratching.

"Werden Sie etwas sagen?" (Will you say something?) Roderich sighed and set the last paper aside. Gilbert looked up from the stove and glared at him.

"Was sollte ich sagen?" (What should I say?) he spat, "Mein bester Freund! Er hat geweint denn Sie haben etwas ihm getan!" (My best friend! He cried because you did something to him!)

"Ich weiß das. Ich meine dass ich ein schwanzlos Scheißkopf bin. Ich wollte nicht das machen. Aber ich habe das gemacht. Schreien Sie! Fluchen Sie! Verdiene ich sie..." (I know that. I mean I'm a dickless shithead. I didn't want to do it. But I did. Scream! Curse! I deserve it) Roderich said as he stood. A nice long walk from the counter to the door and back might help clear his head. A very long walk. But that walk didn't happen.  
  


"Roderich!" a sing-songy Spaniard sang as he barged into the room. He had more pep in his step that neither Roderich nor Gilbert had seen in a while. His smile was not nearly as fake as before. He was happier, and clueless to the tension between the Germanics.

"¡Hola Gil!" he chuckled as he passed the Prussian, "I hope I'm not interrupting something!"

"Oh, no, you're quite alright Antonio." Roderich gawked at him. He glanced at Gil for a moment, only to see that he was even more lost. Great.

"Great! I just wanted to stop by to thank you–for the fantastico churros and for giving me André's number. I can't tell you how much I missed him! I was just thrilled! I didn't stop crying until I fell asleep! Thank you so much! That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!" Antonio grinned and pulled Roderich into a bear hug. The Austrian let out a surprised gasp, not because he was shocked by being hugged, but more so because Antonio was more ripped than he imagined! (Not that he tried to imagine that...often...)

Peeking over Antonio's shoulder, Roderich could see Gilbert silently snickering. How many cupcakes would he have to deface (with faces!) for his ex? All of them, no exceptions. Not this time.

"A-Antonio...I need my arms back." Roderich stuttered. The Spaniard chuckled and let go, not backing away completely.

"Thanks again, Rod. You're the best!" Antonio rubbed his neck and smiled. Roderich could see Gilbert ready to burst out laughing like an annoying little brother. Still, he was happy and a little smug. In honor of his audience he would be sure to bask in his glory!

"Only when it comes to piano Antonio." Rod simpered. Antonio laughed and shook his head,

"I'm sure there's more than that! Maybe you could prove me right over dinner?" He was hopeful. Roderich was classy, snarky, emotional, beautiful, sensitive, and empathetic. He wanted to get closer before–now he almost needed to.

"Perhaps I'll prove you wrong. When and where did you have in mind." Roderich half-smiled. Gilbert was frozen in the background. Well that was unexpected.

"Would you want to come by my apartment on Saturday? I could cook. Unless you would rather go out somewhere. I understand if you wouldn't want to be alone with me in my home, even though I would never try anything like that..." Antonio giggled nervously.

"I'll be there around 8:30." Roderich smiled. Antonio beamed,

"Great! See you then! I actually have to go–I'm meeting with a student soon! Adiós Rod! Gil!" He waved to a stunned Prussian and left happily, shutting the door gently behind him. Gilbert turned robotically to a flustered Austrian and gawked.

"Don't you dare give me that look!" Roderich huffed, "I am five times more surprised than you are!"

"Roddy..." he purred darkly, "...I think you just found the perfect person to—"

"Don't you dare say it!" Rod snapped. Gil shrugged and started,

"Bone! Bone Antonio! Antbonio!"

"That was a terrible pun." Rod spat through gritted teeth.

"But you and he should totally—"

"Bone!? BONE?! Are you really trying to suggest that again!?"

"Yup!"

"BONE!!"


	19. So Similar...

Antonio left Roderich's room full of glee, but when he returned to his own classroom, the joy had deflated a little. He left the door open and went to his desk to grade a few papers. He had hardly picked up his pen when a knock came on the door. He smiled at two students in the doorway, Lovino and Alicia. He beckoned them over.

"You wanted to see us?" Alicia beamed as she sat on the desk closest to the teacher's desk. Lovino closed the door and followed her, standing next to Antonio. He was annoyed, more than usual.

"I just wanted to check in on you guys. See how you're doing."

"Oh I'm great!" Alicia beamed, "My grades are up, Mama's coming home today, my girlfriend can bench press me, and my brother is happy with his little girlfriend!"

"She means Marcello..." Lovino clarified.

"Good! So you're alright?"

"Of course!" Alicia chuckled, "I know you're worried because of Nonno, but it's been a while since he died, seven months, and I'm adjusted now." she slid from the desk and frowned seriously. Antonio gulped–she was the scary one. And she might have figured him out. He needed to have some connection to Romulus in his life, so he kept asking the pair to stop by. He smiled and nodded,

"I'm so happy to hear that! I suppose you want to go back to lunch?" he asked. She nodded politely and with permission, left. It was just Lovino and the teacher.

"Why are you doing this?" Lovino frowned at Antonio and folded his arms.  Antonio's eyes went wide and his jaw went a little slack.

"What do you mean Lovi—?"

"For a couple weeks you kept asking us if we're okay? Alicia and I know and accept that Nonno is dead. I'm starting to think you want us to visit because you haven't come to terms with it." Lovino cut him off harshly. Lovino started him down and he shifted uncomfortably under that hazel glare. He bit his lower lip and tried to think of an answer.

      "I'm right, aren't I?" Lovino's features softened, already certain, "Not once did anyone ask if you're okay. He obviously means a lot to you."

"That's not true, there was someone who asked if I was alright. Everyone else just assumed one way or the other."

"You know it's okay to feel angry and sad–it's okay to feel. Stop trying to be strong for Alicia and me. We don't need that from you. We need you to be a functioning person. So guess what, I'm gonna listen to you now. I don't care if I can't do shit. I don't care if I'm not supposed to get into your personal life. You're my teacher...more or less...but dammit you're my friend too!"

"Lovino, he would be so proud of you..." Antonio sniffled, "Romulus always bragged about his little prodigy, Alicia, and his little charmer, Marcello, but he always got bleary eyes when he talked about his blunt, caring grandson–flaws and all. You are so like him, looks and personality."

"You are his best student. He never shut up about you. So let's not talk about me, eh?" Lovino wiped his eyes and glared at him, "Are you okay?"

"Not really...my favorite teacher just died, I'm so far away from my family, I'm 27, and I live alone on a teacher's salary." Antonio sighed and slumped over his desk, "And I might be breaking a rule here telling you this stuff. At least I can keep in touch with my Ecuadorian cousin now. I have an Austrian to thank for that."

"If you're lonely, why not find a place to do what you like? Dance classes, Papa and Mama would love some extra help in the garden, maybe you could find some weekly Zumba class at the gym. You know, ways to make friends." Lovino suggested and relaxed his arms. Antonio smiled at him–how cute! His little tomato cared!

"Those are some good ideas!" Antonio chuckled, "Grazie, Lovi."

"Don't call me that." Lovino pouted. He was still thinking. He wanted his teacher to be alright and he tried to think over everything he said, and then something hit him,

"That Austrian you mentioned...that wouldn't happen to be Edelstein, would it?"

"Wow! You guessed it!" Toño grinned sheepishly with a faint blush. Lovino knew exactly what that meant,

"You're sweet on him!" Lovino smirked.

"¿¡Qué!?" Antonio yelped then cleared his throat, "I mean, that's a little bit of a stretch, isn't it? We're co workers..." Lovino glared at him–it was the same glare Romulus shot him when he was bullshitting or not telling the whole story.

"I mean yeah we get along, and he's really sweet in his own way but..." Antonio rubbed his neck and trailed off. That glare only got more intense. Antonio shifted awkwardly and kept talking,

"But he isn't interested in me like that and okay maybe it isn't as much of a stretch as I thought..." The Italian's stare went right through him. It was unnervingly like Romulus' own knowing gaze and Antonio relented for his own sanity,

"Okay so I might really really like him. A lot..." he felt like a stupid teenager. Lovino smirked and shook his head,

"I knew it. Maybe you should, I dunno, it might be crazy to suggest this, but, you should ask him on a date." the Italian hummed smugly. Antonio blinked twice and shook his head. This wouldn't be like Lovino asking Alfred to the movies, a silly-little-fling kind of date. What if Roderich says no? What if he says yes!?

"It's not that simple Lovino," Antonio sighed. Lovi rolled his eyes dramatically and scoffed,

"We both know teachers can date and get married to each other, so don't try that shit. All you have to do is invite him to dinner or something, once you get past your nerves..." Dinner was a good idea! Maybe he could cook something for Roderich!

Yeah!.........Wait......well shit on a triscuit!

Antonio started laughing and shaking his head. He facepalmed, leaving his student highly confused. What just happened?

"Uh, Mr. Fernández...you alright?" Lovino asked, shifting away from him slowly. Antonio caught his breath and snorted,

"S-Sorry, Lovi-Lovino! I forgot I already asked him on a date!—I think." Lovino facepalmed, how did this guy get through college!? The stare was back, and Antonio knew damn well he had some explaining to do.

"I asked him to come over for dinner Saturday, I never specified if it were a date or not..."

"You idiot..." Lovino groaned, "that's exactly what a date is! You're how much older than me and you couldn't figure that out?! Che cazzo!? You asked him on a date and invited him to your house! Jesus Christ! That is bold! And you missed it?! Mr. Fernández, do you realize what you did? All the cleaning and cooking and the atmosphere! You got your shit cut out for you!"

"You're right...Those are things I can do! Oh my god I'm so excited!" Antonio squealed. Lovino blew out a puff of air and flipped his bangs. All in a day's work.

"Let me know if you need anything. Imma gonna go to lunch." Lovino waved to him and left him to fanboy. Antonio beamed and danced in his seat. He was so hype for Saturday!


	20. Unterbrechung

Gilbert stood behind a false-wood counter with a black top and scanned the rows of similar tables to keep any accidents from happening. It was similar to the Home Ecc room–four rows with a pathway in the middle. There were cabinets on the back wall, some locked, and full of equipment and supplies. To his left there was a sink and an emergency wash station. He noticed that in the front of the room, Maddie Williams was by herself and focused on adding the correct amount of sodium hydroxide to her water, alcohol, and phenolphthalein solution. Good. He saw Ivan and Natalya were bickering behind her, but their project was complete and covered. Dmitri, the sensitive kid, was working with Emil on the other side of the aisle, and they were doing well. In the very back of the room, something caught his attention. And he had to investigate.

"So you're serious? Fernández and Edelstein? Dude!" Alfred quietly gawked at Lovino, who had just dabbed a white cloth into their dark blue liquid concoction. Lovino held the cloth for both to observe and nodded.  
"Yeah. Idiot didn't even realize it was a date! Good thing he wanted to go out with the prude." he snickered as the blue splotch on the cloth disappeared. Alfred's eyes went wide–science rules. That and it took skill to be more oblivious than him. Alfred was so obvious that he didn't notice Beilschmidt approaching.

"That's just cray!" Alfred laughed.

"What's so 'cray' about disappearing ink disappearing?" Dr. Beilschmidt asked with his hands on his hips. Busted!

"Well, you see, Dr. B. it's so cool what science can do!" Alfred said, trying to bullshit the king of bullshitters. Gilbert smirked wickedly at the pair,

"See me after class. Both of you." At that Lovino scowled–not this guy. Gilbert turned and checked in on the pair next to them. Alfred and Lovino shared a wary glance and shivered. Beilschmidt was a tough one. Oh if only class didn't fly by!

As soon as the bell rang Lovi and Fred approached Gilbert's desk next to his counter. He smiled at them from his seat and rested his chin on his hands with his elbows propped on the surface. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Lovino was nervous but Alfred knew better. This was gonna be good!

"So boys, you were discussing a little bit about my colleagues and their personal lives. Tell me, what do you know about our little Red Bull pair?"

"Red Bull?" Lovino asked incredulously. Was the doc high or something? In school? That was stupid and risky!

"Red Bull–Austrian company. Spaniards like red and bulls. Tell me what you know about those two."

"They're going on a date!" Fred smiled, "and Mr. F. didn't even realize he asked Edelstein out until Vino pointed it out!"

"God dammit Tony!" Gil groaned and hid his face in his hands. Alfred looked to Lovino for help. He was unsure of what to do in this situation. Of course, Lovino wasn't exactly better off. Gilbert lifted his head and leaned back with a playful expression plastered on his face. Oh no.

"Tony can be a little bit of a...well a dipshit sometimes—"

"Don't you fucking dare say that about him!" Lovino cut in. Gilbert blinked rapidly and chuckled. Teacher's pet–Lovino Romano Vargas–he would have never guessed! He could let the swearing slide.

"He's a little oblivious. Better? Naja, es ist mir Wurst (oh well, don't care), or whatever the phrase is in English I can't remember it now. And then Roddy is shy and...nervös...er nervous." Gil rolled his eyes. Damn English.

"Why are you telling us this, doc?" Fred asked.

"I can't keep as close an eye on Tony as I'd like. Schedule conflicts. I'm trying to get those two together so they can go to my wedding together. I need someone to act as a sort of spy."

"What's the dealy-o?" Alfred leaned forward with stars in his eyes. He could be a spy! How cool is that?

"I need to know what's going on in Tony's head. He's not that open with me. I could tell Professor Vargas' death was bugging him but I didn't want to pry. I don't want dirty secrets. I want to give Rod a few tips that won't backfire. Favorite flower, song, food, that stuff."

"Isn't Mr. Edelstein your ex?" Alfred gawked, "You want to help your ex? Dude. That's pretty cray!"

"He's my friend and without him I wouldn't have gotten close to Liza. Not that cray." Gilbert shrugged. Lovino scoffed and rolled his eyes–he was not about to do Beilschmidt any favors! No way!

"What do we get out of it?" Lovino glared at him. He didn't share Alfred's delusion–they weren't just playing spies. It was work, and Lovino was not a charity worker.

"Free booze at the wedding reception and an invite for both of you–but no plus ones."

"That all?"

"Three quiz points extra credit."

"Make it five test points and you got a deal." Lovino held his hand out for Gilbert to shake. He took only a few seconds before shaking Lovino's hand.

"Now get outta here boys, you have class!" Gil smiled. Plan, set. The boys left quickly as Gilbert's next class filed in. Plus one panicked Austrian.

"Sup Roddy?"

"Servus Gilbert," Roderich approached his desk, fiddling with his sleeves, "I-I have a problem. I don't have a way to get to Antonio's Saturday. I don't know where the man lives! I don't have a ride!"

"Literally he's two floors below you. Suite 334 by the elevator. Do you need me to carry you there?" Gilbert snickered. Roderich scoffed and turned his head,

"No no, I dare say that I will be able to get there on my own, thank you!"

"Let me know if Daddy has to pick you up before 11."

"You are not my father and you certain never played that part in our past relationship!"

"Party pooper. Don't you have a class to teach?" Gilbert pouted. Roderich rolled his eyes–it was an art he perfected–and waved,

"Zewaus, Arschloch!" He dramatically stormed off with a huff. Gilbert giggled to himself. Viennese and an insult? And he was calm? Rod wasn't mad–he could almost call that Austrian playful in that moment. That little shit. Operation: Red Bull would go smoothly from here.


	21. Bienvenido

To say Antonio was a frantic mess was indeed an understatement. He had spent the morning picking up food. The early afternoon was dedicated to a complete cleanup of the apartment–he was so anxious he washed his ceiling. Late afternoon he prepared the salad and prepared to cook dinner–he chopped vegetables, measured broth, ground spices, and pulled out the paella to cook it all. He showered and dressed, combing his hair and adding a little cologne. By the time he started cooking, he was in dire need of a little stress reliever–music.

He set up his kitchen speakers and turned the drab white and blue kitchen into a Spanish street festival with the push of a button. In an instant he was center stage, shaking his hips to the beautiful flamenco rhythm filling the apartment. He danced his way around the kitchen as he cooked, occasionally singing the lyrics or humming.

He was about to put his dish into the oven when a knock came from the front door. He finished that task and set the timer before greeting his guest, instead of answering the door, dancing the entire way there right away. Upon answering it, he saw a sharply dressed Roderich holding a small bouquet of pink and white carnations. He looked damn good in his light purple shirt, black slacks, and matching vest.

"¡Bienvenido a mi casa, Roddy!" Antonio beamed. Roderich half-smiled at him and stepped into a whole new world of delicious smells and rhythmic music. The apartment itself mirrored his own–to his right there was a sitting room with darker blue walls and a cute little brown couch. To his left there was a small dining area with a square table pushed against the wall. There was a long white candle in the center and service for two, the salad already on the first plates. Past that was the kitchen where everything radiated. In the center of his vision there was a short hallway that led to the powder room and the bedroom. And right behind him there was Antonio, in fitting black slacks, a red dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top three buttons undone, and a splattered white apron that said "Kiss my ass the cook is busy!"

"Thank you. You've outdone yourself, Antonio." Rod turned and gingerly held out the flowers. Gilbert suggested carnations–how he knew the specifics, like type and color were beyond him.

"Oh my god they're beautiful! How did you know that these are my favorite?" Antonio cheered. He had only told one person this fact recently–on Wednesday Lovino wanted some advice on flowers for Alfred–it was so cute! Other than that only Emma knew!

"It was j-just a-a hunch." Roderich stammered. Why was he stammering!? Oh right, no one else was there.

"Thank you so much! I'll go put these in a vase, please make yourself at home!" Antonio gestured to his home and bowed a little. Then he screamed at himself internally–who bows like that any more? Wait—Roderich was smiling, a full blown smile! It was amused but not mocking. Good job Toño! Happy face emoji!

"Gilbert might call me a princess, but he's not entirely serious." Roderich giggled. That giggle lit a fire under Antonio's skin, turning it pink. The sweet symphonic noise that made its way past Roderich's pale lips was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He grinned at his guest before running to the kitchen to prepare a vase for the flowers.

Roderich admitted that he had to watch Antonio scurry into the kitchen, twitching as if he were itching to dance, though he was fighting it. Those hips were hypnotic, fortunately Roderich could look away if he wanted. That's just what he did, though he almost didn't want to, and he took a seat at the table under the impression that the couch might wrinkle his pants–they were old and hard to iron.

"Oh!" Antonio came back with the flowers in a clear vase, "It's a little early for the salad, but if you're hungry—"

"I'm just sitting, I think I can wait to eat." Rod stopped him. Antonio stared of into the distance as he put the flowers on the table against the wall, digesting what Roderich said. It was a tad more difficult than usual because of the music–Gipsy Kings–and its Spanish lyrics. But the second it registered with him, Antonio grinned softly.

"If that's the case, what would you like to do while you wait?" he asked, taking on a mildly flirtatious tone. Roderich smirked–oh he liked this side of Antonio just as much–but he was an old pro at this game.

"Hm? What was your question? I was a bit distracted by your constant movement. Tell me, is that the best dancing you do?"

"Of course not!" Antonio chuckled, "Is a demonstration in order?" He wiggled his eyebrows. Roderich snickered and held out a hand as if to say, go for it. Antonio didn't see it that way.

His slightly calloused fingers brushed gently over the soft delicate skin of the Austrian's palm. The tingling in his fingertips was nothing compared to the tickling sensation on Roderich's palm. Once Antonio grasped his hand, a faint electricity buzzed up their arms. Antonio guided Roderich up and led him away from the table. Roderich was in a trance as his free hand rested on Antonio's firm shoulder. Antonio's free hand went to Roderich's side and he smirked,

"Think you can keep up?"

"Absolutely not." Roderich smiled at him, "What happens if I can't?"

"You go on a second date with me."

"Is that really your idea of punishment?"

"Would you go on another date with me if it were optional?"

"I think I would. Perhaps instead of that, you can make me do the dishes." Roderich hummed. He only noticed then that they were so close.

"A creature as beautiful as you, doing chores? No. You can stay after dinner and watch a movie with me." Antonio mused. Then the song changed and without warning, Antonio swept poor Roderich off his feet in a sudden spin.

Almost instantly that cheerful, boyish countenanced turned into that of a trained professional. Antonio was so serious and in control that Roderich was willing to submit.

Step two three four, step two three four. Twist. Snap. Turn. Turn. Snap. Turn. Twist. Antonio was a master–completely fluid in his movements. Roderich was lucky he was still standing when the song was done. He hadn't been tossed around like a rag doll since that Christmas party at that Hessen, Christoph's, place! (Hey man, that Apfelwein is good shit!) He fell into his chair while Antonio held a pose with his hip popped, an arm held above his head, the other straight down at his side, and his head tilted toward the ground.

"My god how do you do that?! What kind of 30-year-old has that energy?!" Rod gasped as he tried to regain his breath. Antonio looked up at him seriously, then beamed.

"I do this all the time! And you did pretty well too for a beginner! This calls for salad!" Antonio chuckled and sat down. Roderich snickered and grinned. Not a bad start!


	22. Amadeus

The salad course went quickly, and was filled with boring idle chatter about work and the weather. Both Antonio and Roderich spared a number of flirtatious and admiring glances. The smell coming from the kitchen was wonderful. It was as drool-worthy as his host.

"So tell me, Antonio, what is that delightful aroma?" Roderich smiled softly. Antonio got up, collecting their salad plates, and smiled,

"Paella, Mamá's recipe! It's the best in the world!"

"Best in the world? Hmm, I'll be the judge of that." Rod jokingly stuck his nose in the air. Antonio smirked and spun around to take care of the dishes and the food he was keeping warm in the oven. Roderich tried not to watch him walk away, but it was almost like he was purposely trying to get Roderich to pay attention! Spoiler alert–he so was!

Antonio took his sweet time, making sure to tease Roderich just a bit. He popped the plates in the sink and grabbed the oven mitts. He opened the oven and bent over. He smirked as he wiggled before pulling out the dish. Oh Roderich was having indecent thoughts an upstanding gentleman like him ought not think—ah to hell with that bullshit! He was about as decent as Mozart was—not at all. He would have his revenge.

Antonio plated the rice dish and sauntered back over with a smirk. He set the plates down and took a seat. Roderich took his fork and scooped up some rice and seafood. His eyelids fluttered as he opened his mouth wide and slipped the food in. He closed his lips around the fork and slowly pulled out and moaned. Whether he planned that or not was debatable–that was some damn good paella!

"Oh Antonio!" Rod gasped. The Spaniard in question was blushing from his ears to his neck. His eyes were wide and he had to wonder if he was getting his just desserts for his teasing.

"This is delicious!" Rod continued and then swallowed. Antonio watched the lump in his throat drop and fade. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and looked at Roderich's face. A shit-eating grin suited him.

"Serves you right, trying to seduce a vulnerable old man!" he laughed, "And on the first date!"

"But you're not old!" Antonio chuckled, "And me? Try to seduce you? No! I wasn't even trying!"

"Well, you were damn near close to succeeding!" Roderich huffed and tried to pout–he was failing. Antonio ate some of his own food and carefully thought of a reply–such a classy and refined man should not be subject to low-brow humor...while sober at least. He couldn't. He swallowed and said,

"Really? Wowzers! So how do you like the paella?" He had to change the subject.

"You said it's your mother's recipe?" Roderich asked with a thoughtful frown. Antonio nodded nervously. Did he not like it? Was that display just revenge for his teasing–and apparent seduction? Roderich smirked at him,

"In that case I'm curious, is everything she made that delicious?" he asked with a wink. Antonio swallowed hard and nodded.

"She makes all kinds of things! She taught me everything I know!" he said sheepishly rubbing his neck. Was that an innuendo?

"So you like to cook?"

"Oh yes, very much! But not so much meat preparation. It gets messy." Antonio sighed, thinking about the cleaning involved with preparing raw meat as opposed to everything else the kitchen called for.

"Are you telling me it gets messy when you beat your meat?" Roderich laughed. Antonio's eyes went wide. That was definitely an innuendo! And a joke–from Roderich. The man across from him took another bite and smirked. Antonio watched him idly adjust his glasses and swallow before he spoke up,

"What? Gilbert isn't the only one with a sense of humor. There's a time and place for it, that's all."

"But you're so refined! I wouldn't have ever guessed that—" Antonio began, only to be cut off by Roderich,

"I am not always the snobby little man you see at school. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I doubt that you're always a happy-go-lucky, friendly, oblivious man. I know for a fact you aren't. You're an awful tease." Roderich raised his eyebrows and waited. Antonio went from shocked to smug in an instant. With a devilish smirk and hooded eyes he purred,

"You're right. You figured that out, but I promise this is only a  _fraction_  of what I am."

"I'm not a math teacher, Antonio. In time i hope to see the whole thing, and I mean that in the cleanest way possible."

"Are you completely sure about that?" Antonio wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm only a  _fraction_  sure." Roderich hummed with a smug look on that pretty face. Oh Antonio had half a mind to grab that face and kiss that smugness off of it! The reasonable half told him to eat–it sounded like Romulus. He forked some paella and brought it to his mouth but paused.

"In that case, I welcome you to the challenge!" Antonio said before digging in. Roderich smiled and joined in. A welcome challenge indeed!


	23. Fragen

What could be more wonderful than a filling and delicious meal? Cuddling on the couch with a movie playing in the background. It would have been  _The Mask of Zorro_  if Antonio could find it...Fortunately Roderich had a solution,  _Amadeus_. Too bad they couldn't find that three hour long film for free either. Netflix had  _Kungfu Panda_  among other titles, but they agreed it would be funny because it seemed so out of place. They were wrong but didn't pay much attention to it.

"I hope you don't think this is Netflix and chill." Antonio yawned and stretched so he could wrap his arm around Roderich's shoulder. He was nervous–flirty chatter was easy for him, touching was much more meaningful and intimate. What if Rod shrugged him off? What if he wasn't ready and got—oh hey!

Roderich knew what was going on immediately. He secretly inched his way closer to Antonio while his arms were up. Once the one draped over his shoulder Roderich leaned into his host and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Now why would I think that? It's only the first date!" Roderich chuckled. Antonio smiled and pulled him even closer.

"Because you are completely irresistible!" he cooed, causing Roderich to turn scarlet. He might joke about his ego and prowess being high, but Roderich was so full of doubt. If he were really all that, he wouldn't have two divorces and a broken engagement. And now the hottest, sweetest, kindest man he ever met thought  _he_  was irresistible? Too good to be true!

"I was under the impression that it might be because I'm a dirty slut." Rod said mostly sarcastically. Antonio stared at him and pouted. Sarcasm was elusive to him usually. What on earth did Roderich mean by that? This beautiful man was insulting himself! Not if Antonio could help it!

"Who said that? You're not a slut! You're a smart, clever, talented, beautiful man who's had some bad luck with love." Antonio said with a warm smile that made poor Roddy's heart melt.

"Antonio..." he sighed.

"No, you're not changing my mind!" Antonio cut him off, "I know you're an amazing person, and a guy as messed up as me is beyond lucky to even talk to you."

"Don't you start being hard on yourself." Rod chastised him and pouted. Antonio laughed and sighed,

"Only if you're nicer to yourself!" It was a fair deal. It would have been nicer if her added one more condition–every time he did that, he had to let Antonio kiss him. It was too soon to suggest that, but Antonio wanted to kiss him so badly!

"You don't know me well enough to order me to do that!" Roderich scoffed playfully. Antonio smirked–he had an idea!

"You're right, maybe we should play a game–20 questions is a great way to learn all about each other!" he suggested. Roderich tapped his chin and thought about it. If there were some rules, why not? He certainly had questions for Antonio!

"As long as we agree that sexual content is off limits, I'm willing. Who do you want to start?—And no, that's not my first question." Rod stated very plainly.

"You can go first–I have to decide what I wanna ask!" Antonio replied. Rod smirked, at least he was ready.

"Alright," Roderich hummed, "Do you have any siblings?"

"Oh yeah!" Antonio chuckled, "I have an older brother and two older sister! Célia is my oldest sister, she's pretty, witty, and badass! She's in Lisbon right now. Then there's Carmen, she's strong and smart and beautiful. She teaches dancing in Madrid. My brother Afonso is in this country for a while with his friend, Arthur. You might have met him–we look alike but I'm so much hotter than him!" Antonio had long forgotten the movie. Roderich had done the same.

"Quite a family, they sound charming." Rod commented. He knew who Afonso was all right–the man couldn't be Antonio's brother, could he? They were like day and night!

"When did you realize you loved music?"

"I was in Volkschule. I took piano lessons at a young age. I was either six or seven." Roderich shrugged, "Who taught you how to cook? I want to thank them for teaching you so well!"

"Oh that was a family effort! Mamá and Carmen always dragged me in the kitchen to help with dinner. Papá taught me how to bake and mix drinks when I was old enough. I never really learned how to make any Ecuadorian food, because we left when I was young. I definitely remember that it was delicious!" Antonio sighed wistfully, then asked, "What's your favorite animal?"

"Hmm...that's difficult. Animals are not my favorite. I suppose I have an odd affinity for groundhogs." Rod thought aloud–as a kid he saw those little guys in the Alps when he stayed with Omi and Opi. Good times.

"That's so cute! I would have never guessed that!" Antonio gushed. Roderich rolled his eyes and blushed. He was many things, but cute? He wasn't sure.

"Ever play a sport?" Rod coughed, still a little thrown off by Antonio's enthusiastic compliment.

"I played football--er soccer, not that wannabe rugby--when I was a kid! I don't mean to brag but I was the best midfielder in the entire league! Carmen was so proud! So was Papá!" Antonio smiled wistfully, as if he had more to say, but didn't want to go into it. Roderich refused to press on the matter.

"Hmm, Did you ever have an emo phase Rod?" Antonio asked with a goofy smirk. Roderich blinked rapidly as if he were shocked and slightly offended he would even dare ask such a thing.

"Never! I might have had an affinity for Jimmy Eat World and Blink-182, and I might have dressed like a cheap punk, but the fashion in the late 90s'..." he shuddered, "just awful. I never embraced the depressing lifestyle."

"Late 90s? I was just starting escuela primera in 97!" Antonio gasped. How old was Roderich again?

"I was in the middle of Hauptschule...I was 12." Roderich huffed as if he could tell where Antonio's thoughts were wandering, "So what, five years difference? As long as this date didn't happen back then, it's fine. Let's see, have you ever broken a bone?" Antonio visibly relaxed, then tensed up again.

"Yes, when I was playing football one of the bigger kids on the other team was real aggressive. I slid in the grass to kick the ball away from him and he stomped on my shin, and broke it. He was really strong and heavy, and I guess he got mad because I was this tiny little thing kicking his ass." he said, slumping a bit, "I couldn't play again for that season, and Mamá didn't want me to play with those kids anymore, so I didn't join another league when I got better. I really missed the sport." Antonio ran a hand through his hair and tried to bring back his winning smile,

"So what's your favorite season, Rod?"

"I was always a fan of autumn and winter. Probably winter. Did you ever have any pets?" Roderich answered and asked Antonio–it was no time to be sad and he wasn't about to let this beautiful man dwell on bad memories.

"Ooh!" Antonio squealed, "I used to have two turtles when I lived in Ecuador. One was named Michael and the other was Don Quixote! André and I took good care of them! They were so cute!" Roderich thought if Antonio looked in a mirror he would see something cuter!

"Do you remember any weird dream you've had?" Antonio asked bouncing in his seat. Roderich smirked and shook his head. This would be good,

"I had one dream I can never forget. I was in a field of Edelweiss on a mountain. It was warm out and I was really relaxed, not bothered by work. And then Krampus just appeared and tried to force me to play violin. I can't play violin."

"Krampus?" Antonio asked and tilted his head. What the heck was Krampus?

"I'm supposed to ask the question now," Roderich hummed with a teasing smirk, "Let's just say he's a monster from back home. Let me see, have you ever grown your hair out?"

"One time I did. I donated it. Everyone kept mistaking me for Afonso!" Toño chuckled, "Hmm, what's your weirdest tradition?"

"On December 5th, there's this one festival, Krampusnacht. Some people dress up as Krampus, a goat-demon who 'takes care of' the naughty children, and they run around scaring people. It's quite hilarious."

"That is weird..." Antonio frowned. That sounded like Christmas from Hell!

"Yes, yes it is. I remember dressing up one year and sitting in the town square while all the insanity surrounded me. It was the craziest thing I've ever done. Hmmm...what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" Roderich shrugged and inched away from Antonio and his warmth to get a better look at the man.

"Me? Well there was one time in college Gil and I decided to go on a crazy road trip in the United States. Gilbert drove and I took pictures of everything! The giant ball of yarn, the Grand Canyon, the sunrise over the Rockies! We only had each other! And then we got to Vegas and I think I tried skydiving. I had to do a little dance at a gay strip club to get enough cash for gas, and I promise I won't ever do that again, not for money anyway...yeah, we needed money because we got completely smashed and Gil tried his hand at gambling." Antonio smiled awkwardly and blushed. What happened in Vegas was going to haunt him rather than stay in Vegas. Roderich was dumbfounded. He scooted away from Antonio and stared, trying not to imagine the show he gave.

"Okay, so...are you a morning person?" Antonio asked as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had to divert the conversation, and fast.

"Absolutely not." Roderich replied with a tense edge to his voice. Mornings? Evil, " Do you have any tattoos?"

"Yeah...I got it that night in Vegas. It's kind of embarrassing...I got a tramp stamp." Antonio trained his eyes on the ground. That was one of the things he wished he forgot.

"It can't be worse than mine. It's staff lines with 'Amadeus' written across them. From my Falco days..." Roderich admitted, almost proudly. For the amount of class that could ever be associated with such ink, his tattoo was a source of his rebellious youthful pride, and he refused to take that memory away!

"It says 'Enter Here' with an arrow between the words...I don't have to tell you which way the arrow is pointing..." Antonio averted his gaze and went bright red. Roderich snickered, oh that was certainly worse than a stupid song reference.

"Have you ever tried going vegan?" Antonio coughed. This was not the time to talk about trashy tats!

"Heavens no! I for one enjoy my sausages! Let's see...Have you ever gone sailing?" Roderich threw the question on the end quickly lest Antonio made a suggestive comment or joke.

"One time I went with my brother and sister Célia. It was a lot of fun! Do you like to read?" Antonio shrugged. He wouldn't admit that for the most part he got in the way.

"Occasionally. I prefer to listen to audio books. Do you like to bake? Clearly I enjoy it, but what about you?" Roderich asked one of the questions he was saving for the right moment--the deal maker or breaker.

"Oh! Yeah! I love it, it's so relaxing! I'm not the best but at least I don't burn anything." Antonio bounced back and grinned like an excited child, "What's your favorite dessert?"

"Me?" Roderich thought aloud, knowing damn well where he was going with this question, "I would have to say marble Gugelhupf, a sort of bundt cake." Antonio smirked at him, oh he would make that cake and do a damn good job! Just not that night, they had a game to finish!


	24. Preguntas

"Alright then," Rod mused. He was still next to Antonio on the couch, their movie long forgotten, "What's your guiltiest pleasure?"

"I'm a slut for the Golden Girls! I watch it over and over–I really like Rose and Sophia! I mean of course I love them all, but how can you compete with Betty White and a sassy old Italian lady?" Antonio gushed and held a hand to his heart as if an old tv show was his child who he was proud of. He fluttered his eyes and calmed down. He became terribly serious.

"Can you appreciate a good prank?"

"I was married to Erszi and engaged to Gilbert–it would be difficult for me to have loved them so deeply without appreciating the craft behind their pranks!" Roderich gasped, pretending to be aghast. Antonio giggled.

"Who would you say is your most trusted friend?" Roderich asked, adjusting his glasses.

"Francis or Gilbert, it's hard to pick between the two of them! Ooh!" Antonio sighed and leaned back, only jump when he thought of his own question,

"Who was your favorite college professor?"

"I would have to say it was my old Spanish professor, Dr. Garcia, sweet old man, he was very understanding and patient. On the subject of school, why did you become a teacher?"

"He sounds like a nice man!" Antonio smiled and closed his eyes, "I became a teacher because my Italian professor inspired me, but I think the idea was floating in the back of my mind for a while, I wanted to do something to help some of the kids getting picked on and bullied." His smile had faded and he went awfully quiet. A question immediately entered Roderich's mind for his next turn.

"Did you have a role model? I had Romulus of course..." Antonio asked, not moving from his place.

"No one I knew personally, I always admired Schubert..." Roderich replied and steeled his nerves. This was a loaded question and he did not want to ruin their date, but he was too curious.

"Were you bullied?" Roderich asked and squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of Antonio's reaction. The longest sigh he ever heard escaped Antonio's lips. He peeked at the man, and saw that Antonio was staring at the ceiling.

"After I broke my leg I had to wear a brace for awhile, the kids at school laughed at me and made jokes behind my back. I also put on a lot of weight since I couldn't move as much, and I couldn't lose it easily since I wasn't really allowed to play football again. No one wanted to be in a group with me, they made pig faces at me, stole my pens, forced me to eat bugs...I didn't want to go back, but I did day after day. Afonso was a pain in the ass at home but at school he tried to keep people from hurting me. Then I went back in the fall after puberty really hit me, and everyone thought I was some cool new guy, even after they realized it was me. They acted as if they never hurt me before. I was on some crazy diet and a gym regimen that should have killed me, but it didn't. I wanted them to know how much it hurt me, I thought if I were dead they would get it. But I couldn't–I couldn't just leave Mamá and Papá with the guilt–I couldn't leave Afonso and Carmen and Célia to blame themselves! I was so depressed until I graduated..." Antonio was doing his best not to cry. Roderich wanted to tell him that it was okay to cry, he was certainly allowed to feel. Rod gingerly pulled him into a hug around his waist and hummed a calming melody. How dare anyone hurt this man-child!

"Rod...?" Antonio sniffled, "What's your favorite scent?" Roderich was a little surprised but, he would answer.

"Royal Violets cologne. Especially when  _certain_  people wear it." Roderich fought back a smirk and then asked, "Is there anything you miss about home?"

"I really miss my big sisters, the late night scene, and my parents." he said, taking a deep breath, "Do you like theater?"

"I do on occasion, I'm more of a fan of opera myself. Hmm, if you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?" Roderich asked and held Antonio closer.

"Mamá's paella!" he giggled through his drying tears, "What's the coolest place you've been to?"

"Temperature wise? Probably Russia. Barcelona or New York if you meant most interesting." Roderich chuckled, "What is your dream vacation?"

"I would go to some tropical paradise and soak up the sun with a mojito and my gorgeous husband...if I find one!"

"Of course you will!" Roderich gasped, who wouldn't want to marry this beautiful man? An idiot, naturally.

"We'll see what the future holds." Antonio chuckled, "Ooh! What would you do if you were invisible for a day?"

"Me? I would relax and read wherever I felt like it without being disturbed. One day without Vash glaring at me and no new papers to grade? That would be heaven!" Roderich smiled wistfully and leaned back. He was quite handsome when he was completely relaxed rather than stiff as if he had to remain so to keep upright. Antonio grinned at him.

"My turn, right? What's your happiest memory?" Roderich turned his head to face him as he asked. Antonio closed his eyes and beamed.

"That would be the day I went to La Tomatina with my sisters and brother. I had been in a bit of a funk, and we went, threw tomatoes, laughed, and ran around! I never saw Carmen let loose like that! Her hair was and still is always tied up tight, but by the end of the day the bun came undone and she didn't even try to fix it! Afonso got me in the face a couple times, but I got him back. And Célia—she was like a general! She was the commander of the four of us, but she didn't get too high and mighty. Mamá and Papá were so mad that the house smelled of tomatoes for a week and a half!" Antonio laughed at the memory and sighed, he missed those days.

"Rod, what do you like to do during the summer?"

"I like hiding in the cold alps mostly. If I have to stay somewhere warmer, I like to listen to music and watch TV during the day, and I go out for strolls at night. I don't particularly enjoy summer." Roderich shrugged, "What's your favorite thing about yourself?"

"Me? Uhm...hmmm...I guess it would have to be that I always try to be friendly to people, even if I don't like them. It's not easy. So...what are your biggest pet peeves?"

"Hm, I cannot stand wastefulness, bad music, and Northern German dialects. I hate when someone leaves the tap running or the lights on when they aren't using either. I find it irritating when people dislike my food...that's all I can think of off the top of my head." Roderich pouted, "What is the one thing about yourself people tend to notice?"

"My cushy ass...I don't want to brag but it  _is_ perfect!" Antonio smirked, "And when I dance I've also gotten compliments on my stamina." he replied with a wink. Roderich chose to ignore the hint for the time being.

"Do you like Halloween? I mean, you have that Christmas from Hell. It's not too far off, right?" Antonio chuckled. Roderich had to have caught his innuendo, right?

"Of course! That's when I can get away with waltzing around in a corset and a mini skirt!" Roderich purred, making Antonio blush. Goal achieved. He cleared his throat to bring his date back from fantasy land and asked, "What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?"

"Oh that's easy!" Antonio laughed, "It was the churros! It was so spontaneous and thoughtful, and they were homemade! It was like having a secret admirer for once!" Roderich went red. That was the most romantic thing anyone ever did for him?

"They weren't even warm by the time you got them, I find it hard to believe no one has done better than that!"

"It's true! I told you I was bullied. My only girlfriend was great, really sweet and caring! She was good support and I really did love her. Romance just wasn't really Emma's forte, though she did give me chocolates occasionally. I haven't had much experience in love, good or bad. Plus, handmade anything means that someone took time to put their heart into it! And then you didn't give them straight to me. You decided I was worth enough time to do something incredible, even with your busy schedule–like I have value to you. If I got the note, maybe that secretive vibe wouldn't have been there, but it was the most wonderful thing anyone I really liked like this has ever done for me!"

"Oh Antonio," Roderich smiled shyly, "that was nothing. But it will be easy to one-up myself, just you wait! A man of your talent, skill, beauty, and heart deserves so much more than what you've been given–even if it takes a thousand dates and a thousand more desserts to even begin to reach what you deserve. There is something about the twinkle in your eyes that makes me think no one could ever give you all you deserve–every happiness."

"Rod..." Antonio cooed and pulled the Austrian into a hug. The sass-master could be sweet too! Antonio was far happier in that moment than he had ever been before. Roderich hugged back and took in his scent–Royal Violets included. Antonio had one question left, and he knew he wouldn't miss this chance. He pulled back and brushed Roderich's hair out of his face.

"Can I kiss you?" he breathed and looked into Roderich's eyes. Roderich stared back with lidded violet eyes.

"I don't know, can you?" he teased. Antonio smirked.

"Let's find out, eh?" he purred. Roderich leaned in, Antonio followed suit.The second their lips touched, in a delicate, chaste fashion, a wonderful feeling filled them both. It was short, sweet, and unimaginably loving. Antonio was blown away by the warmth bubbling in his chest. Roderich smirked when he pulled away, knowing exactly what that feeling meant.

"It appears you can!" he teased, "And you might consider this a goodnight kiss, I'm afraid I have to get home. Perhaps next weekend we could see a movie, that isn't related to pandas, and get lunch." Roderich escaped the hug and stood, a little regretfully. It was late, and Antonio was tired as well. The fact that Roderich suggested their next date made him giddy.

"Of course, of course! Next weekend should be great! I hope the week flies by!" Antonio beamed and got up, "May I walk you to your car in the meantime?" Roderich held up his hand and shook his head.

"The door is fine. I don't drive, and I live in this building anyway." Roderich smiled. Antonio grinned and escorted Roderich out, with a final good night. The door closed and Antonio started jumping for joy and dancing around his apartment. He had a successful date with a man he could fall in love with someday. Maybe more!


	25. Step 2

"Hey there hot stuff!" Alfred grinned as he pulled Lovino into a one-armed hug. He immediately pulled away and acted like he burned his arm. Lovino snickered at the joke, but the silliness would have to end soon. It's a bad idea to act like you got burned in a cooking classroom. Edelstein was right there and watching the room fill up. But something was different...Lovino couldn't place it.

"Damn! You really are hot stuff, Vino!" Alfred chuckled. When Lovino didn't respond he followed his boyfriend's suspicious gaze and landed on Edelstein. He was sort of barely smiling and he wasn't nearly as hunched over. It was Monday, the one day a week he was more bitter than black coffee. So the date over the weekend went well! Good! That meant Al and Lovino were a step closer to extra credit  _and_ free fancy food!

"Bello, you're cute, by this isn't the time." Lovino huffed and quickly turned his boyfriend's head to look at their teacher.

"Take a minute to soak in the effects of success." Lovino whispered smugly and let go of him. Alfred's usual smile turned both smug and evil. One date was not enough to a relationship make, and he knew a few ways to get them closer! In fact, he had just the thing!

"Che cosa?" Lovino asked him–they agreed on a new study technique where Lovino would switch to basics questions in Italian at random to keep Al sharp. If he answered correctly he would get a kiss on the cheek, and if it was in the target language, on the lips. Incentive.

"Babe I have a plan to get those two even closer! I'll get Dr. B in on it too, It'll be awesome!" Alfred replied, earning a curious but somewhat doubtful look from Lovino.

"Mr. Jones," Edelstein spoke, shooting him a reprimanding look, "I would hope that you and Mr. Vargas can save your conversation until after class." Alfred shrank into himself and kept his mouth shut. Edelstein was satisfied but Lovino could see the plan forming in his head.

"Alright class, do the exercises assigned in the syllabus and we'll pick up on the subjunctive tomorrow! Ciao!" Fernández announced at the front of the room as the bell rang. All but two students raced out, Lovino and Alfred. Lovino stayed by his desk while Alfred approached Fernández.

"Hey, Teach, could you help me with something?" Alfred asked. Fernández smiled at him as he packed his own work for the day.

"What is it, Al?" Fernández asked with a slight grin. Alfred pulled a piece of printer paper, folded neatly, from the side pocket on his bag and handed it to him.

"I have a pen pal who lives way up north in Italy. They sent me this and I can't read it, even when I have such an amazing Italian teacher! Could you maybe take a look at it?"

"Sure thing!" Fernández took the paper and unfolded it, "Just out of curiosity, why didn't you get Lovino's help?"

"He tried, but he had no clue!" Alfred lied–Lovino never looked at it, but he wouldn't know a word of what's on the page. Fernández was skeptical about that but he still decided to take a look. But when he saw the first sentence he understood why the boys were lost. That was definitely not Italian!

"Alfred, where is your friend from?" Fernández carefully placed the paper on his desk.

"I think it was Naz...or Natz. One of those two!" Alfred beamed, "So can you read it?"

"No, it's in a completely different language. But give me a few days and I'll have it translated." Fernández smiled, though it was forced.

"Dude! You are the best, Teach! Thanks!—I gotta split! Ciao!" Alfred cheered and raced out of the classroom. Fernández sighed and collapsed in his seat. Lovino stepped up to talk to him while he wondered what to do.

 

 

"Yo Dr. B!" Alfred yelped as he skidded into the chemistry room. He had to make this quick if he was gonna get to practice on time. Gilbert snapped his head up from the stack of quizzes he had to grade and smirked,

"Alfred! Decided to start a chemistry club? It's you and me but we can still get in the yearbook!"

"No time!" Alfred gasped, "Lemme explain!" Dr. B nodded for him to continue. Alfred took a deep breath and tried to speak slowly–a challenge.

"So I thought of a way to push Red Bull together, so I made up a pen pal from South Tyrol, you know, in Italy, and made a fake email. I sent myself a letter in German and asked Mr. Fernández if he could translate. He said he would but he didn't recognize it's German! If he comes to you please, please tell him you can't even if you can! It's Bavarian-Austrian German!"

"Send him to Roderich, huh? I can do that! But how do you know German? I might have to pretend to scold you in it." Dr. B grinned wickedly. That was a good idea and he wished he thought of it!

"My mom is from Lancaster–she speaks it all the time at home! And she studied in Austria so she helped me with the dialect." Alfred admitted. Dr. B smirked. He waved goodbye and watched that boy sprint. This would be interesting!


	26. Dialect Direct

"Gilbert you gotta help me!" Antonio gasped as he burst into the chemistry lab. Gilbert looked up from his desk and grinned.

"What's up Tony?" Gil motioned him in. Antonio closed the door and went to sit at the counter closest to the desk and pulled out the letter. Gil had to fight the urge to smirk.

"Alfred asked me if I could translate this—it's from his pen pal in Italy but I can't make sense of it. Lovino got one look at it and scoffed. He said it's German! I can't go back on my word! Please help me!" Antonio explained frantically and ended with his head in his hands.

"Pass it here, I think I could help–seeing that I am German!" Gil said as he stood. He went to Antonio and snatched the paper with a smirk. Antonio watched him from between his fingers as he unfolded and tried to read it. His red eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate. He was struggling with the dialect–he had to give Al props! Or maybe just his mother...there was no way he could accurately translate it on his own.

"Man, I can't help you. Plattdeutsch is out of my range. Maybe Roderich could help you. He always brags about being Austrian!" Gilbert said as he dramatically lowered the paper as if he were reading something bad piece of news. Antonio was ready to slam his head on the counter–Roderich yelled at him in German the day they met! And he was right next door–it would have been easier to bug him first. Then again, he didn't want to bother him.

"Tony, broha, I have to go clean. Come with me and give sassy-ass the letter!" Gil said pulling Antonio's hands from his face. He guided the poor Italian teacher to his feet and half-dragged him out of the room. They had to see an Austrian!

* * *

 

Roderich left his door open for Gilbert, as usual. He was on his perch recording his grades when a pair of teachers stumbled in. Needless to say he was surprised to see Antonio being pulled in by Gilbert. Usually he would come on his own and knock.

"Rödchen Tony braucht Hilfe! Deine Hilfe!" (Roddy! tony needs help! Your help!) Gilbert squwaked as soon as he barreled in.

"Pardon us for a moment, Antonio." Roderich sighed, "Mit was? Und warum sagst du das auf Deutsch?!" (With what? And why did you say that in German?)

"Natürlich weil das Problem auf Deutsch ist! Aber Plattdeutsch." (Naturally because the problem is in German! But Low German.) Gilbert smirked. Roderich rolled his eyes.

"Deitsch. Na na ich kann's." (Low German. Yeah, yeah, I can do it.) Roderich stated blandly and shooed him.

"Antonio, please come here, Gilbert has work to do!" Rod motioned for Antonio to come to him. Gilbert stuck his tongue out at Roderich, like a mature adult, and went to get the cleaning supplies.

"What's wrong?" Roderich asked calmly. Antonio took a deep breath and tried not to admire the man in front of him. It was hard when Roderich was so dignified without a hair out of place.

"A student asked for help translating a letter from a pen pal. The person is Italian but from South Tirol, and they wrote to him in German. I asked Gil but he was lost. You're my only hope! I can't let him down!" Antonio explained desperately and gave Roderich the letter. Roderich opened it and read it aloud quickly, before translating it out loud:

> "'Dear Alfred,  
> I am so happy to hear from you. Life here is probably different from where you are. And that's exciting. Around here there are many fun things to do. My favorite is going to the mountains and skiing. I also like going to Italian class. I'm still learning, like you and I'm not confident enough to reply in it yet. My understanding of English is not so good either. I hope you can reply soon!  
> With heartfelt greetings,  
> Georg.'"

Antonio gawked at him and blinked a few times as he absorbed what just happened. Gilbert looked at it as if it were Russian or something. He thought it sounded beautiful! Rod smirked at him.

"The most obvious difference between 'German' German and Austrian German–or in this case it's also Italian German–is the sound, as I'm sure you noticed." Roderich said smugly. Gilbert shot him a glare from his post at the farthest stove top. Someone knew exactly where Rod was going. That someone was not Antonio.

"I could hear some kind of difference." Antonio admitted, still star struck.

"I'm sure–his German is like a marching military unit, Austrian German is more like a waltz at a high-class ball." Roderich shrugged.

"Yeah and you can hear every single time some noob steps on their partner's feet—since, you know, they need to learn proper German!" Gilbert jeered loudly. Antonio was confused, what was happening? They were just dialects. Both were proper versions! He turned to Gil and made a pained face.

"Chillax Tony!" Gilbert laughed, "This is an inside joke between our countries! Or is it?" Roderich flipped him off secretly and then cleared his throat to get Antonio's attention.

"Would you like me to transcribe my translation? You can always send Alfred to me if this occurs again." Rod suggested as he slipped from his perch. Antonio looked to him and pouted.

"I promised my student I would help him. I can't just push that onto you!"

"What else would you suggest?" Roderich asked uncomfortably. It was Gilbert's time to shine!

"Teach him!" the chemist shouted.

"I don't have that kind of time, Gil!" Roderich whined, "Neither of us do!"

"Tony could pay for coffee while you work, save him some guilt. Plus he'll pick something up." Gilbert suggested as he scrubbed the counter. Antonio lit up like a Christmas tree! That was a good suggestion!

"Would you, Rod!? Please! I'll get you whichever coffee you want!" Antonio begged and batted his eyes. Who could resist that face?

"You owe me a coffee, and a danish." Roderich huffed and stuck his nose in the air like a campy stage actor. And then he snickered. He couldn't even manage to maintain his usual persona. He peeked at Antonio and saw him giggling. So cute!

Gilbert smirked to himself–everything was going according to plan!


	27. Coffee and Confusion

Kaisers Latte was fairly empty when Antonio and Roderich arrived. They both agreed that the reward was in order for Roderich's translation services. Immediately after the Home Ecc room was clean and Gilbert got his reward.

"Hallöchen!" Kaiser smiled behind the counter, "Let me guess–hm, a medium pumpkin spice latte and a small cup of bland von Boring-stein—am I right?" he chuckled at Roderich's sour expression. Antonio was all smiles, because the Saxon got his order right off the bat--he was a regular and it was nice to be appreciated.

"If it's not from Vienna, it will always be bland." Roderich huffed, "You don't even have the taste to stock Austrian coffee."

"It's expensive to import from a place that cannot grow its own coffee, and you my friend, would not shell out the cash for such a cup of coffee!" Kaiser said and shrugged, "Did I guess your orders? I'm starting a new thing with the regulars, if I can't guess what they want, the drink is free. Sorry Tony." Antonio waved him off, there was always next time!

"Are you sure you can afford that? Once someone knows about it, they'll switch their drinks around." Antonio asked innocently. Kaiser smirked.

"I know my customers. I know Gilbert likes foam and caffeine–he needs tons of caffeine and there are a limited number of drinks that meet his needs. You like seasonal drinks, sweet drinks, and spicier drinks. Next week you'll want the gingerbread latte. You always want lattes, actually. I have a special one just for you in the back if you want it." Kaiser hummed and winked. Roderich smacked his hand on the counter.

"You got our orders right, now why don't you do your job and spare us your dick jokes!" Rod huffed. He wasn't jealous at all, no way, not a chance in hell! It's not like that could be taken as flirting! (Who are we kidding, he was jealous!)

"Sauer, oder?" Kaiser frowned and turned to get to work. Antonio blushed and looked to Roderich. He needed to remember that one fact about German–that Latte meant "dick"–if nothing else, to save him from making a fool of himself. Roderich was also a little pink in the cheeks.

"Why don't we sit down? Kaiser knows what we look like–he knows I'll pay." Antonio suggested and rubbed his neck. Roderich's mouth opened and closed like a fish. How could one man be so adorable and utterly oblivious?

"Yes, let's. Lead the way." Rod said after composing himself. Antonio found a cozy table away from the windows and the other guests. He wasn't even thinking about it but he chose that area so he wouldn't have to share Roderich. Roderich decided to play gentleman and pulled out Antonio's chair for him. Antonio giggled and sat down with a dumb grin.

"You're such a gentleman to me!"

"Well you are a pretty young thing and you're paying. It's the least I could do." Roderich smirked and took his seat. Antonio smirked and shook his head.

"We both know you're the pretty one! You would make a bride on her wedding day look plain!" Antonio hummed and rested his head in his hand with a dreamy look on his face. That reminded Roderich—

"Erszébeta wanted me to check in with you about the reception if Gilbert hasn't yet–are you bringing a date?"

"He hasn't! It's just me! But I am open to a date for the wedding." Antonio hummed and gently nudged Roderich's ankle with his foot. Please let him take the hint!

"I hope for your sake you find one in the next four hours if they're not invited already!" Roderich said glancing at his watch. Erszi was gonna kill him if he didn't get any answer soon. Obviously Gilbert wouldn't get anything else out of Toño. If the threat of Erszi's wrath didn't loom over him, he would have caught on to Antonio but a wrathful Erszébeta was not to be messed with! Ever!

"Then you should tell her I don't have a plus one." Antonio said with a sad smile. He stood up and added, "I'll be back with our coffees." Roderich nodded as he pulled out his phone. A quick text to the bride would suffice and he wouldn't be held up chatting with her–he was with Antonio dammit!

"On the house today." Kaiser smiled when Antonio approached the counter. He tried to return the gesture but it didn't reach his eyes. Kaiser understood completely–Erszi and Gilbert were really cracking down on the guest list and Rod just happened to be too involved to avoid getting caught up in it. It must suck to be on a date and your date is distracted with work from his exes.

"Thanks amigo." Antonio sighed.

"You know, Roderich doesn't have a date either. You should ask him." Kaiser suggested. Antonio snorted humorlessly.

"I just did and he brushed me off." Antonio pouted, "I thought he would be interested. We had such a great time before!"

"I would be glad he didn't take the hint!" Kaiser laughed, "This isn't the right place to ask  _the_ Roderich Edelstein to be your escort to a formal party–it's too public and the question is too personal! If I were you, I'd get a little more creative." Antonio though for a moment and then beamed. Kaiser was right and he had the perfect idea! He needed to call Gilbert the second he got home!


	28. der „Überfall"

Alfred was unnerved–why on earth did Dr. B. want to see him this early? Did he miss an assignment or do poorly on a quiz? He certainly missed breakfast trying to get to school. The email he received from his teacher the night before was nothing less than reprimanding in tone and when Beilschmidt got serious it was not a good thing.

"Guten Morgen, Alfred." Dr. B. said with his arms resting across his desk. Alfred closed the door behind him and approached the unreadable man who wanted to see him.

"Guten Morgen Herr Doktor." Alfred shifted his weight from one foot to the other, "Wie geht es Ihnen?"

"I'm doing well. How are you? Your dads?" Beilschmidt asked with a frown. Alfred swallowed thickly, knowing he was cornered.

"Tino and Ber are good."

"And your mom?" Gil smirked.

"She—er—"

"Was never in the picture. I would appreciate your honesty–where did you learn Austrian German?–because you fooled Edelstein already!"

"I studied it on my own along with Standard German. I just like to learn stuff." Alfred admitted sheepishly. He was a math and science nerd, not a language geek! He couldn't let that get out too!

"Well I hope you're ready to learn where you're seated at the reception. You don't have to write any more letters to yourself–I do need a distraction though." he said and tossed Alfred a ziplock with frosted cornflakes, "I made sure to poison them by the way." Dr. B. joked. Alfred grinned at him and tucked his breakfast in his pocket.

"Thanks Dr. B!—So, a distraction?" Alfred asked curiously, "what kind of distraction?"

"I'm taking over the Home Ecc room with Mr. Fernández after school today. He wants to make Gugelhupf for Mr. Edelstein as a surprise. We need two hours at least. Get him to leave early if you can." Gilbert said seriously, which scared Alfred. This was the final step in their mission. Operation Red Bull would be complete. Alfred was already forming a brilliant plan and he needed his boyfriend to help him!

* * *

 

Lovino was anxiously awaiting the end of the day. He was posted between Fernández and Edelstein's door, waiting for his teacher to leave with Alfred. If Al could get the Austrian into the band room to show off some of his piano skills, then Fernández was free to bake! Lovino didn't mind keeping an eye out for them. It might get boring but at least he wasn't cleaning. And right on schedule Alfred came running down the hall with his sister in tow...this wasn't part of the plan.

"Babe!" Alfred greeted him with a kiss to the forehead. Lovino grumbled and kissed his cheek.

"Ciao Maddie," he added, "What brings you here?"

"H-Hi Lovino. I'm one of the leads in the Winter concert. Al said Mr. Edelstein could help me practice with getting my voice above the piano." Maddie admitted shyly. Lovino smiled at her and rubbed his chin.

"That he can. It would be a shame for your beautiful voice to be drowned out by the accompaniment." said with a flirty flair that got to Alfred. Maddie blushed and nodded meekly.

"I'll just go ahead and talk with him. Thanks Lovino!" she said and scurried to the classroom. Alfred scowled at his boyfriend. Lovino raised his eyebrows incredulously at him.

"You should know I can't even manage English around the people I actually like, right? I get so flustered I can't think right. I don't know how to keep flattery and flirting separate." Lovino admitted, catching on.

"You can manage English around me now..." Alfred sulked. Lovino pouted–Alfred had a point, he wasn't nearly as flustered about breathing the same air as him anymore but he was still very much interested.

"I got comfortable enough around you to communicate properly. If you made a move I would probably turn into a puddle of goo." he admitted sheepishly and trained his eyes on the ground. Alfred smirked wickedly–he could put that to the test at any point!

"Vino, Babe." Alfred purred before slamming his boyfriend against the wall and pinning him. Lovino looked up at him, this smirking devil, and went bright red. Alfred grabbed his chin and leaned in so that their lips brushed and then—

"Sweet Mother Teresa on a Mercedes Benz!" Dr. B. yelled, "Get a room!" Alfred leapt away from Lovino and blushed something fierce. It was at that second that Mr. Edelstein and Maddie, who snickered at her brother, stepped out of the room.

"I won't ask." Edelstein sighed and looked to Dr. B, "I am helping this young lady with her choral part this afternoon. Don't destroy my classroom." Gilbert mock saluted him and shot a teasing yet reprimanding look at Alfred.

"You have baseball practice–don't make your coach angry." the chemist smirked. Alfred nodded rapidly and kissed Lovino's cheek.

"Oh make it count!" Gilbert scoffed, "I have a room to clean!" He winked and went inside the classroom. Lovino smirked and crossed his arms.

"Finish what you started, Jones!" he chuckled despite looking like a tomato. Alfred looked both ways and planted a sweet kiss on Lovino's lips. Lovino leaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Alfred's waist. Neither one noticed the Italian teacher leaving his room and he couldn't find it in himself to pry them apart. They were so cute and in love, how could Antonio be so cruel?

"Catch ya later, bello." Alfred said softly as they separated. Lovino's curl twisted into the shape of a heart. He smiled softly and gave him a gentle shove.

"You have practice–we can continue this later." Lovino hummed. Alfred giggled and nodded before he took off.

"Wowzers! To think you two were at odds not long ago!" Antonio grinned. Lovino went bright red and his curl crinkled. Antonio laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Don't be embarrassed Lovi! It might look suspicious! Let's go get started!" Antonio added and led Lovino into the room. They were surprised to see that Gilbert had all the ingredients out and ready as well as the pan, mixer, and four bowls. They were shocked to witness him pulling a pony bottle of rum from his coat.

"Gilbert!" Antonio gasped, "How did you get that past the sensor?!"

"Hm? Oh I brought a few and told Vash it was all to demonstrate flammability in the classroom—always be careful with alcohol in the kitchen!" Gilbert cackled.

"Why does Vash let you get away with this stuff?"

"I saved Lili's life. She's allergic to avocados–no guacamole for her again! And I proved that I don't drink on the job a long time ago! This ain't my first Krampuslauf!"

"Krampuslauf? What the hell is that?" Lovino scoffed.

"Christmas in Hell—now watch the door!" Gilbert scoffed. They had work to do! Lovino rolled his eyes and went to stand look out. It was time. To bake.


	29. Cooking by the Book

“Okay so, Lovino,” Gilbert said as he surveyed his surroundings, “Find a seat by the door and do homework or something.” Lovino shrugged and found a chair. Once his headphones were in, he was in his own little world. Good.

“Antonio,” Gil said with the air of a general and turned to the brunette. Antonio stood at attention at his station–the first counter closest to the teacher’s counter. With his arms behind his back, Gilbert paced in front of the counter.

“I have here the recipe for Gugelhupf. It’s laminated so don’t steal it. This is your ticket to a wedding date with one churro fairy princess. Deviate from the instructions, and fail. I will not let you fail.” Gilbert continued while holding the card to his chest. Antonio smiled awkwardly. He already knew that much! There was just this odd shine in Gilbert’s eyes that scared him.

“I can’t really succeed without seeing the instructions. Can I read it?”

“No.”

“What?!” Antonio yelled at him, “Lemme see!” Gilbert smirked and handed him the card. One look made poor Antonio’s stomach curl into itself. He actually could not possibly read it; it was in German.

“Why the fuck didn’t you translate this?” Antonio hissed. So Gilbert wanted to be in control of this situation? That was not happening! Antonio glared at the card and tried to make sense of it. He could pick out a few cognates and some words he learned from Gil, but otherwise he was lost.

“This was short notice! I would need some time for it, and I am scrap for time!” Gilbert scowled, “Like hell I wanna bake!” He wasn’t exactly lying, but that only irked Antonio more, and Lovino could see it. To save everyone’s sanity he did the ballsiest thing he had ever thought to do. He texted Monika, who probably knew the recipe by heart. He would have to thank Alicia for forcing him to add her in his phone.

“Okay, what should I do first?” Antonio asked with a little too much venom. Gilbert snatched the card back and quickly read it.

“First separate the eggs into whites and yolks between these two bowls. Then add half of the sugar to the egg whites and beat them on medium speed until they’re fluffy.” Okay that was doable. Antonio reached for an egg and two bowls, and then Gilbert smacked his hands away.

“Wash up first. Rule number one.” Gilbert snarled. Antonio scoffed and went for the sink. He made sure to scrub the life out of his hands in such a dramatic fashion as to appease the Prussian. Gilbert seemed satisfied. He dried them roughly and rolled his neck to ease the tension building along his spine.

He went for the egg and bowls again, this time with no hindrances. He took an egg and firmly tapped it on the countertop, making Gilbert cringe. Antonio ignored him, as if Gilbert understood a thing about baking! Cracking an egg on a corner or edge could shock it and the proteins inside! He split the shell perfectly and let the white drop into one bowl while he carefully separated the yolk. If a little bit of the white was with it, it was not a big deal, unless you’re an overbearing albino with an air of superiority.

“Start over, you already messed up.” Gilbert ordered.

“I’m sorry do you know a damn thing about how to bake a cake?” Antonio snarled and went for a second egg. Gilbert glared at him as he finished separating the other three eggs. Gilbert shoved the ½ cup measuring scoop under Antonio’s nose before he could add the sugar, or ask for the measuring cup. Antonio snatched it and divided the already measured sugar. He dumped it in the bowl and got that mixer in there quickly. To keep anything from shooting out and onto the counter he started at low speed and then increased it to medium. Gilbert stared at his card and groaned.

“Turn it up! You want to have firm peaks!” he whined. Antonio flipped him off with his free hand. He _was_ following the directions!

“I’m gay, if you want firm peaks, talk to Liza!” Oh he was pissed! Gilbert gawked at him for a minute and cleared his throat.

“Next you gotta mix the butter and the yolks until they’re foamy. Then add the powdered sugar and mix until creamy. Then mix in the vanilla sugar and some lemon zest.” Gilbert said, holding the all-important recipe card to his face. Antonio grabbed a spatula and turned off the mixer. He lifted it and saw the two firm peaks he needed and quickly wiped them off. He followed Gilbert’s instructions to a ‘T’ in order to keep him quiet. Then he saw what was left on the counter. He had to sift the dry ingredients, naturally and so he did when he was done, much to Gilbert’s horror.

“Now you add the next few things to the yolk mixture in increments: milk, whites, flour, repeat. And do it gently! That’s not so hard, right?” Gilbert asked. Antonio didn’t respond. He got the spatula and began folding the batter together. He was irritated enough to not care about being gentle. He wanted Gilbert to shut his fat mouth! 

“Oh my god, stop!” Gilbert shouted. Antonio paused and glared at him.

“What the fuck is wrong now?”

“You’re too rough! The egg whites will collapse!”

“You’ll collapse if you don’t let me make my gift in peace!” Antonio huffed and crossed his arms, releasing the spatula. He still had some flour to add, but he needed to tell Gil to get lost. Not his best idea. Gilbert pulled a vinyl glove from his pocket and slipped it on just so he could thrust his hand in the unfinished batter and bitch some more.

“You have to start over, you fucked this up!” Gilbert complained and removed his hand. Something snapped inside Antonio and he grabbed a handful of batter and smeared it in Gilbert’s hair. Gilbert retaliated by wiping his glove on Antonio’s shirt. He took that glove off as another wad of batter hit him in the face and splattered all over his shoulders. He tossed half the remaining flour on the Spaniard, thus starting war.

 

In his little corner, Lovino stared at the duo. They were his teachers! Why was he the only mature one? He had to think fast. Monika wasn’t responding and he had to get those men away from each other! What in the world was that girl doing?—

Lovino’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Monika sent him the recipe and an apology for her brother’s actions. He thanked her, willing to kick himself later for asking for her help, and forwarded the message to Antonio—his parents made him keep the man as an emergency contact! All he had to do was distract Dr. B. He pulled out his chemistry homework. So much for his dignity!

“Dr. B. I need your help!” Lovino shouted above the ruckus that his teachers were making. They froze on the spot and looked at him. Antonio’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Gilbert stared at Lovino while Antonio checked his texts. He mouthed a thank you to Lovino and turned his attention to Gil.

“You should help him. I can handle this on my own.” Antonio goaded him. Gilbert pouted and glaced between the two. Rod’s cake had to be perfect, but he had a job to do. He washed his hands at a different sink and marched to the back of the room, leaving the pony bottle on the desk. Oh this cake had better have been worth the trouble!


	30. A Solo and a Date

The classroom reeked of baked goodness and it was spotless, unlike the pair of teachers in the room. Antonio and Gilbert were coated in flour and batter. So they might’ve been a little childish and they might’ve started a food fight that a student broke up. At least the cake turned out beautifully—it didn’t even stick to the bundt pan! It only took three and a half hours!

“Hey Mr. Fernández,” Lovino yawned as he guarded the door. Antonio looked up from his creation and cast his gaze to the other side of the room. Lovino was leaning against the wall and glaring out the window. Something was amiss. 

“What’s up, Lovino?” he asked hesitantly. 

“How long did you say this would take? Alfred just walked by.” the Italian replied with a shrug. Antonio and Gilbert shared a panicked glance–they were complete messes! Like hell Gil would be caught in this state by Vash or Roderich! To hell if Antonio asked Roderich to be his wedding date while covered in batter!

“Lovino, stay right here, we’re gonna freshen up! He has to look good to get his date!” Gilbert ordered as he dragged Antonio from the room. Lovino was about to ask what he should do if Roderich came back and they weren’t there, but the door slammed shut before he could speak. He hoped they were faster than Edelstein.

* * *

 

Roderich wandered the halls, trying to get his bearings. It was a large building and he had never actually been to the choir room alone. Maddie led him there but she went home, leaving him to his devices.

Madeline was a sweet girl, and she tried her hardest to get louder–and succeeding. It should have been a fun little duet for him, but it wasn’t. The last time he played with any accompaniment was with Heidi. He played with Heidi in the orchestra and in their shared apartment. It was a happy marriage, until the subjects of children and home-buying came up. He wanted neither, she wanted both. They fought about that. Then they fought over small things. It hurt him to see his happy relationship become toxic. It hurt him when she refused to let him accompany her viola. They divorced and playing music with other people became another cause of pain–pain from his memories of what was and could have been. 

 

He sighed to himself, exhausted from poorly navigating the halls, and leaned against the wall by the bathroom. The door was open and he could hear a sink running.

“Hurry up Tony!” a familiar voice hissed loudly, “He’ll be back any minute!” It was Gilbert. Roderich stood up straight and briskly walked down to his classroom. He found his bearings alright! What had those two done to his classroom?! With the two of them together, it was unlikely they cleaned!

Roderich burst into the room and heard a loud shriek. The first thing he noticed after the sparkling room was Lovino on the floor at his feet, rubbing his lower back. 

“The hell is your problem, old man!? Storming in like some kind of cop!” Lovino snapped, not bothering to get up. Roderich glared down his nose at the boy. 

“My problem? Lovino this is my classroom. Are you telling me I was supposed to expect you to be here after hours? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine except for the heart attack and hitting my back against the wall.” Lovino scoffed and crossed his arms, “Are you supposed to expect anything at this hour?”

“No. But now I expect trouble. What are you doing here? Don’t think I won’t write you a nice little detention slip.” Edelstein hissed. Lovino was too tired to come up with a good lie to protect Mr. Fernández. He grunted as he got to his feet and dusted off his clothes. Then he pointed across the room to the cake on the counter. Sorry, Antonio, detention was not a part of the deal!

“I’m making sure that stays safe. Mr. Fernández was gonna use it to ask you on a date or something.” Lovino huffed and got to his feet.

“We already agreed on a second date. Perhaps he forgot.” Roderich thought aloud. Lovino thought to himself–he was trying to get these teachers together and he had a good grasp on Antonio’s weekend schedule. On Sunday Antonio as going to help him and his parents with getting a Christmas tree and setting it up. He was free Saturday, or so he claimed on the phone with Mrs. Vargas. Lovino was willing to admit to eavesdropping. He was also willing to fill that schedule with something fun. 

“He’s not doing anything Saturday.” Lovino shrugged, “Don’t get him drunk. Mama and Papa need his help on the next day.”

“I had no idea you took up a part-time job as his secretary. I doubt it pays well.”

“It doesn’t pay enough to have to deal with your brand of salt.” the bitter student scoffed and brushed off his clothes. He grabbed his bag and slung it on his back.

“See you tomorrow, Mr. Edelstein.” Lovino said as he tried to leave. Al wouldn’t wait forever! Too bad Edelstein stopped him. 

“Hold it, I have to ask you to deliver a message since I will be leaving before Mr. Fernández.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re his secretary. That and you’ll likely see him before I do.” Roderich huffed, “tell him I accept and I will treat him to lunch.”

“The cheap meal, how romantic!” Lovino jeered, “Can I leave now?”

“Fine, tell him it’s dinner.” Roderich groaned. What a brat!--a completely correct and irritating brat! He stepped aside and let Lovino leave, which he did with a simple chin tilt in parting.

After leaving the classroom, Lovino headed for the bathroom where a pair of less than dignified teachers emerged. Antonio spotted Lovino and waved, hoping for some good news.

“You’re lucky, Fernández!” Lovino huffed, tired from such a long day, “He’ll go to dinner with you on Saturday. His treat this time.”

“Lovino,” Gilbert scowled, “That cake was his way of asking Roderich to be his wedding date.”

“Are you shitting me?” Lovino groaned.

“He isn’t Lovi, I’m sure I can think of something else, though. It’s okay.” Antonio lied through his teeth. Sure another date was a good thing, but he needed another plan and fast! He didn’t have the time! Still, dinner on Saturday was an exciting step in the right direction. And it was a date with Roderich.

“Did he say what time we’re going? Or maybe I could just text or call him!” Antonio squealed, making Gilbert facepalm. All that stress and hard work for some frivolous dinner. He had a wedding to plan! Time was not on anyone’s side!

“No, text him.” Lovino grunted, “I’m outta here, my ride can’t wait forever. Ciao.” And then he walked away. Antonio turned to a peeved Prussian and smiled sheepishly.

“What are we gonna do now Tony?” Gilbert huffed.

“Well, I go on another date, and I think of something else!” the Spaniard replied with wavering confidence. He wished he wasn’t the one who had to ask, his urge to go over the top with everything was becoming quite the hindrance. 

“Text your little churro fairy princess, and figure it out.” Gilbert said and crossed his arms with an air of finality. Antonio was creative, he could think of something! 


End file.
